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Here are the Kimye wedding photos you’ve been pretending you don’t care about.

I feel like whether you love Kim and Kanye, whether you hate them, or whether you’re entirely apathetic toward them, you want to see the wedding photos. How can you resist? These two are such a damn spectacle and everything they do is in excess, it’s natural to have a level of curiosity of what the most important day of their lives together looked like. Or at least, that’s how I see it. As we discussed the other day, I don’t give much of a shit about these two, but y’all can be damn sure I wanted to see these photos. I want to see the dress, the hair, the make-up, the whole thing. And now we can all see them together, because I’ve got the shots you want.

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In case you missed it: Kimye got married yesterday.

You probably haven’t heard much about it because Kanye West and Kim Kardashian are such a reserved, private, demure couple who shy away from attention, but yes, it’s true. Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are now joined in holy matrimony for the next few months for all eternity.

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Drake, Selena Gomez, Miley Cyrus, Kimye, Kendall Jenner and more! The week in celebrity social media

1 Ariana Grande is into Kabbalah? I didn’t think anyone was still into Kabbalah?

2 Miley’s instagram has been so deranged these past few weeks. I adore her and I’m dying for her to announce an Australian leg of her BANGERZ tour, but what even is happening on her social media at the moment?

3 I love that Bey was like ‘Oh I can’t attend Kimye’s wedding I’m super busy’ and then WHILE THE CEREMONY WAS HAPPENING posted the chillest no make-up selfie, like ‘see? I’m totally busy.’ #SoShady

4 Um, so we all watched Lindsay, right? So we know that she spends like 85% of her days sleeping. What time do you think it was when she posted that selfie for the ‘early risers(ish)’. Like 3pm? 4pm?

5 Shay Mitchell is so damn pretty in real life and so plain on Pretty Little Liars and it’s MIND BOGGLING to me.

6 I have a lot of respect for Troian for always trying to speak up and be a positive role model for her young fans. #HipsterQueen

7 Selena Gomez gives literally no fucks about cultural appropriation, does she? When did she become such a little train wreck? I wasn’t anticipating it, but girl’s a damn mess.

8 I ship Chrissy Teigen and John Legend so much considering that I wouldn’t consider myself a fan of either one of them. They just seem so sweet and in love and I love it.

9 Those lace masks that Khloe and Kendall are rocking are amazing and glamorous and I love them. The masks, not the Kardashian-Jenners.

10 Even in Drake’s flashback photos he looks like he’s the saddest person in the world.

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Ariana Grande, Amanda Bynes, Beyoncé, Kendall and Kylie Jenner and more! The week in celebrity social media.

James Franco, Kim Kardashian, Katy Perry, Rihanna and more! The week in celebrity social media.

Justin Bieber, Mindy Kaling, Rihanna, Iggy Azalea and more! The week in celebrity social media.

Britney Spears, Kylie Jenner, Miley Cyrus and Ariana Grande. The week in celebrity social media.

James Franco, Justin Bieber, Katy Perry and more! The week in celebrity social media.

Emma Stone, Mindy Kaling, June Squibb, Matthew McConaughey and more celebrities read mean tweets about themselves.

Honestly, if Jimmy Kimmel did nothing but shit for the rest of his life, I would still love and respect him forever solely for giving me the Celebrities Read Mean Tweets segment. He will have a lifetime pass from me because of this, the way Sarah Michelle Gellar has one from Buffy (which she has then tested over and over again with a series of flop films and cancelled television series. #RIPRinger).

In the latest segment, we have Julia RobertsDon CheadleAshton KutcherCourteney CoxAndy GarciaMindy Kaling (MY GIRL!)Jeremy Piven, Emma Stone, Don Rickles, Ethan Hawke, Kit Harrington, Gary Oldman, David Blaine, June Squibb, Matthew McConaughey and Sofia Vergara reading mean tweets about themselves, and it’s as hilarious as ever.

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Maddie from Dance Moms performed ‘Chandelier’ while Sia sang for a wall on The Ellen Show and it was bizarre and flawless.

So Sia is about to make her musical return with upcoming album 1000 Forms of Fear, the debut single from which is ‘Chandelier’. The music video features my girl Maddie Ziegler from Dance Moms being the flawless talent she is, and on May 19, Ellen had both Sia and Maddie perform the song live.

… It was bizarre, and evoked a lot of conflicting opinions within me. Let’s watch and discuss.

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The 2014 Billboard Music Awards recap. Red carpet, performances, winners and more!

Another year, another music award show. I’m not going to lie to you, this year is sort of a snooze, because we were missing Rihanna, Beyoncé, Bieber, Gaga, Drake, Demi Lovato, Selena Gomez, Eminem, Taylor Swift, Jay and Yeezy, Madonna, and even Britney (even though she was in Vegas basically yesterday like WTF gurl it wouldn’t kill you to do some promo once a year). On the other hand, Michael Jackson’s hologram turned up. So there’s that. Let’s discuss.

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Ariana Grande, Amanda Bynes, Beyoncé, Kendall and Kylie Jenner and more! The week in celebrity social media.

A few things:

1 Ariana is so adorable and her voice is incredible but homegirl needs to work on her enunciation because without the lyric video for “Problem” I would have no idea what she was singing.

2 #FULLSEASONFORMINDY. I’m not fucking around, all’a y’all need to tweet dat shit e’ery fuckin’ day for the rest of the year because I won’t be okay with only 15 episodes of season three.

3 WHERE IS BADGALRIRI’S INSTAGRAM WHAT IS HAPPENING? And while we’re at it, where’s my new album boo?

4 Miley’s insta has been such a mess this last fortnight. #getittogethergurl

5 Beyoncé: Yeah, whatever you reckon gurl.

6 Lookin’ so sober, Linds. #lies

7 Paris is making me so nostalgic for my golden era of celebrity.

8 Okay so I actually think Kendall Jenner is really pretty, and I also think Kylie has had lip injections because her mouth definitely never used to look like that. I’m not fussed about it, though, and her nails are incredible.

9 Amanda’s come a long way since last year and it makes me happy, although I definitely miss reading tweets like “My Sister Jillian Has An Ugly Face Too Don’t Worry Drake.”

10 Ugh I’m DYING for the return of Real Housewives of New Jersey.

Related posts:

James Franco, Kim Kardashian, Katy Perry, Rihanna and more! The week in celebrity social media.

Justin Bieber, Mindy Kaling, Rihanna, Iggy Azalea and more! The week in celebrity social media.

Britney Spears, Kylie Jenner, Miley Cyrus and Ariana Grande. The week in celebrity social media.

James Franco, Justin Bieber, Katy Perry and more! The week in celebrity social media.

Mindy Kaling, Miley Cyrus, Kim Kardashian, Eminem, Amanda Bynes and more! The week in celebrity social media.

Solange VS Jay Z. The definitive round-up of events, lies, theories and memes.

… Or at least, “definitive” if you’re using the term fairly loosely.

So unless you’ve been the Avril Lavigne to one of her fans at a meet and greet, IE on two separate planets, you’ve heard about Solange Knowles, better known as aka Beyoncé’s sister, beating, spitting on, and kicking the damn shit out of Jay-Z in an elevator after the Met gala last week. Since then, the Internet has been swirling with theories and memes in approximately equal measure, so let’s discuss all of it right now.

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Thoughts on the Real Housewives of Melbourne reunion.

Britney X Factor gif

This gif encapsulates how I feel about being set free from the nightmare that was Real Housecunts of Melbourne season one. Seriously, you guys. I’ve watched seasons upon seasons of Real Housewives franchises: Beverly Hills, New Jersey, New York, Atlanta, Vancouver, Miami and Orange County, and I have never in my life seen such little plot and such unfiltered two-facedness as there was in the Real Housewives of Melbourne. It made me embarrassed, not only for them because they’re grown ass women acting like 14 year old girls, but just as an Australian and a woman. So let’s talk about the finale.

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From bonkers to bananas: The 2014 Met Gala red carpet round up.

It is (ahem, was) that time of year again, y’all! The best red carpet event in between the Oscars and the MTV VMAs, the Met Gala wsa on once again, and as always, the red carpet looks are as extraordinary as always. We have some high-highs, some low-lows, and many, many ‘what am I even looking at right now?’ looks.

Apologies for the delay in getting this up, my dears. I’m battling a nasty sinus thing at the moment and it’s been kicking my ass, and then The Mindy Project finale was tonight so OBVIOUSLY I had to watch that before finishing this because you know me, I’m obsessed. (It was EVERYTHING, by the way. Literally everything.). Let’s move on before I get sidetracked and recap the entire finale for you in this intro.

The theme of the gala this year was “Charles James: Beyond Fashion,” focusing on the 1940s and 50s designer’s preference for the traditional through ”White Tie & Decorations.” So expect a lot of giant gowns, long gloves, and pastels. Are you ready? Let’s do this.

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