Adam Levine got back together with Behati Prinsloo two minutes ago, and now they’re engaged.
‘You’re doing it wrong,’ says Leonardo DiCaprio, coming up for air from his 3 month, cross-continental muff-diving exploration of all the supermodel pussy he can get to while on hiatus from work.
Okay, now that’s out of the way, let’s talk about this.
If you’re thinking ‘wait, didn’t Adam like, *JUST* get a new girlfriend, though?!’ you are indeed correct, my friend.
Back on May 30, I posted about how Adam Levine had just started banging Sports Illustrated model Nina Agdal, but I’m telling you, once these boys get a taste of the Victoria’s Secret pussy it’s fucking kryptonite and Sports Illustrated just doesn’t cut it anymore. As soon as Adam realised that it just wasn’t the same, he dumped her ass, got back together with Behati, and was so over the moon about gettin’ back in that snatch that he proposed to her like two seconds later. Cut to him three months from now when he looks up the meaning of the word marriage and sees the part about it being monogamous:
For the time being, though, this is what his rep told People magazine:
“Adam Levine and his girlfriend Behati Prinsloo are excited to announce they are engaged to be married. The couple recently reunited and Adam proposed this weekend in Los Angeles.”
Leo, upon realising that he’s got one less competitor for the rest of the Victoria’s Secret girls: