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The saga of beauty queen Amanda Bynes continues. She told Perez Hilton to kill himself because no one wants to suck his dick, and other tidbits.

To paraphrase Amanda’s nemesis Rihanna: ‘That Amanda reign just won’t let up!’

Okay, let’s start with the court case. TMZ reported that the case is rapidly falling apart due to lack of evidence from the prosecution. Here’s what they’re saying:

The Amanda Bynes drug case is falling apart … FAST … because the cops have absolutely NO HARD EVIDENCE that Amanda was ever in possession of weed, this based on information TMZ has obtained from law enforcement.

An NYPD official told TMZ … the police report mentions NOTHING of any marijuana recovered at the scene.  According to the report, cops saw Amanda throw what they believe is “drug paraphernalia” out the window.  The report also says cops smelled “a strong odor of marijuana.”

Based on multiple calls to law enforcement and others … it appears NO DRUGS were recovered … and that’s what Amanda has been saying all along.

As for the alleged bong … it’s almost certain it will never be admitted into evidence.  TMZ broke the story … our producer spotted glass remnants on a sub-roof Tuesday and then called police and asked if they had inspected it.  He was told they hadn’t, and was asked for the location where the glass was found.  Cops arrived a short time later and presumably checked the sub-roof.

Here’s the problem … No one knows if anyone tampered with the glass remnants which sat for days, in the rain.  The chain of custody has been irretrievably broken and it’s virtually certain the glass would not be admissible into evidence.

Short story … even if prosecutors try to nail Amanda for reckless endangerment by throwing something out the window — cops say she confessed to throwing a vase but she denies it  — there’s no physical evidence of what was allegedly thrown.  We’ve spoken with several lawyers who say it will be extremely difficult to convict her on reckless endangerment without physical evidence.

Short story — if you’re betting on this one, Amanda seems to be a pretty safe gamble.

And here’s Amanda’s response:

Screen shot 2013-05-31 at 8.22.39 AM

 

I don’t even know why Amanda bothered to hire a lawyer, since she knows so much about the law, to be honest. She should just defend herself. OMG, can you imagine? I would pay to watch that. She should start a Kickstarter to help pay herself her legal fees. Amanda Bynes’ legal expertise is not cheap, even for a multi-millionaire like her.

Richard Hutton, Amanda’s actual lawyer, however, told Entertainment Tonight that Amanda is ‘fine’, and here’s a link to an article about that with the Amanda Bynes retweet of approval.

Here’s the real drama of the moment, though.

ALLEGEDLY, Amanda has hightailed it upstate to Buffalo, New York, apparently to take trampoline lessons at a place called Sky Zone. TMZ posted some photos of the girl who is DEFINITELY NOT Amanda Bynes, jumping around. Before you click through the gallery, here’s my suggested soundtrack to this gallery:

 

Obviously this is the same pesky impostor who was snapped walking around Times Square awhile ago. The fake Amanda signed Sky Zone’s waiver as ‘Laura Bynes’ (Amanda’s middle name is Laura) and Amanda’s date of birth, and has the same tattoos as Amanda.

From TMZ:

Witnesses say Amanda was disheveled, frantic and distracted when she arrived around 7:15PM, asking guests to delete pictures and bumbling around during the tutorial.

“She wasn’t really listening,” fellow patron Christopher Zukas tells TMZ. “She kept leaving the group to go set stuff down and would come back. During the jumping she wasn’t able to follow the rules and was even knocked over by a fitness instructor teaching a class.”

Other witnesses say she calmed down after 20 minutes and happily bounced for about an hour — seemed to be having fun — then left in a waiting car.

The REAL Amanda is PISSED about this story. Super pissed. Here’s what she had to say about it:

Screen shot 2013-05-31 at 8.50.14 AMSee, you guys? It can’t be the real Amanda, because the REAL Amanda doesn’t own a brown wig.

@amandabynes "Heading to stripper classes!"

@amandabynes “Heading to stripper classes!”

I guess it was the impostor who was snapped by TMZ wig shopping in a brunette wig when the whole ‘you’re an ugly-faced black man’ thing happened the other day, then?

It didn’t end there, though. She continued:

Screen shot 2013-05-31 at 8.56.56 AMThe fake Amanda Bynes isn’t a beauty queen! AMANDA BYNES IS A BEAUTY QUEEN!

You should also click here to watch a video of fake-Amanda pretending that she’s not in Buffalo. As in ‘Amanda, what are you doing in Buffalo?’ ‘We’re not in Buffalo!’

And finally, Lance Bass was on ‘Mark and Mercedes’ radio show in Las Vegas, and he said:

“It’s one of those situations where obviously there’s some mental problems there and she’s not able to see that.”

“No one is able to get to her. I’m actually really scared for her, and I hope someone is able to get to her to give her the help she needs.”

Amanda’s response:

Screen shot 2013-05-31 at 9.04.00 AM

 

 

In summary: Everyone is ugly except for beauty queen Amanda Bynes, America’s most beautiful plaintiff. She will sue you if you say anything that contradicts her Twitter statements, even if you can prove it, because disagreeing with her is illegal. No one wants to suck Perez Hilton’s dick (she may have a point there, tbh.). She is not in Buffalo and does not own a brown wig.

I think that’s about it for today… so far, anyway.

Suggested soundtrack for this entire saga?

 

Amanda should just cover both of these songs when she starts her rap career, tbh.

 

 

Related posts:

America’s most beautiful plaintiff, Amanda Bynes, hates the ugly Courtney Love and Chrissy Teigen now, and other trainwreck-related delights.

Two trainwrecks for the price of one: LiLo and Amanda Bynes updates.

Amanda Bynes told RiRi that Chris Brown beat her because she’s ugly, and some other batshit things she’s said in the last few hours.

Amanda Bynes says the cop who arrested her ‘sexually harassed’ her and ‘slapped her vagina’, and other things that have happened in the last 36 hours.

 

 

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