Adam Levine and Leonardo DiCaprio both have new lingerie model girlfriends this week.
So last year, Adam Levine got dumped by Victoria’s Secret model Anne V, avoided getting trapped into a marriage with stage 10 clinger Jennifer Love Hewitt, and joined Leonardo DiCaprio’s prestigious pussy posse when he started dating Behati Prinsloo (which remains one of my favourite blog posts that I’ve written to date).
Well, they’ve broken up now, apparently, and since then, Adam has started dating Sports Illustrated model Nina Agdal. Here she is:
Do you think Adam looks at Leo’s track record with models and is just green with envy? Because I do. Maybe there’s a vote coming up for who should be president of the Model Fuckers Anonymus club and Adam is going for president this year. He’d be all ‘Leo tried to fuck Cara Delevingne last week and FAILED! He is losing his touch, so you should vote for me to be president of the club.’
Leo would then have the floor for rebuttal, to defend his presidency, at which point he’d be all ‘Look at my track record. I have fucked all the best pussy in town, and I don’t even need to specify which town I’m talking about, because it’s ALL OF THEM. ALL THE TOWNS. Name me a town, I’ve fucked the best bitches in it. This Cara story is false, malicious gossip, and I will not have it. Look at who I’m sticking it to right now. This is my latest, Toni Garrn. Now say it with me, FOUR MORE YEARS! FOUR MORE YEARS!’
Here’s Toni Garrn: