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Chris Brown violated his parole again, I’m not getting my hopes up that he’ll be locked up for it.

I feel as though the LAPD are trolling me every time I read that Chris Brown has violated his probation and might go to jail, because we all know that it will never fucking happen. They’ve burned me too many times before for me to believe that this new hit and run investigation will land him in the jail cell he so thoroughly deserves to rot in.

So to refresh your memory, Chris Brown is still on probation from that time he thought he could kill Rihanna the day before the Grammys and get away with it, because that’s how fucking egotistical/stupid he is. Since then, he’s made a career out of being a victim, picking fights with people on Twitter, having raging diva fits that result in furniture being thrown through windows, threatening to shit on people’s retinas, threatening to beat a minimum wage worker over ten fucking dollars, lying about completing his probation, and so on, and so forth.

In case you haven’t picked up on it, I fucking loathe him, and if you’re new around here, I’ll say it again: If you put me in a room with him, in a ‘Saw’-esque scenario where only one of us could survive, I would win, because I truly think the adrenaline from my undying hatred for him would allow me to overcome his physical strength. To paraphrase Rihanna; ‘I would make him my bitch’, and not in a sexy way. In an ‘oh, now you have no face because I tore it off with my bare hands, sorry I’m not sorry,’ kind of way.

In his latest display of good for nothing asshattery, motherfucker rear ended someone because sometimes he likes to crash his cars for attention. He then refused to give his latest victim his drivers license number, and then backed it up by giving her false insurance information, as well.

He’s denying everything, of course, and will probably tweet something about how bitch deserved to be rear ended because that’s the way she likes it any second now. The LAPD will ignore than and then everything will go on as usual, until the next time he clearly violates his probation and we go through this all again.

 

Related posts:

Amanda Bynes told RiRi that Chris Brown beat her because she’s ugly, and some other batshit things she’s said in the last few hours.

Taylor doesn’t want Selena to ever, ever, ever, get back together with Justin, and the rest of the 2013 Billboard Music Award Show!

Chris Brown, relationship counsellor.

Multimillionaire douchebag Chris Brown threatened a valet over $10.

Rihanna says she will ‘never be a victim’.

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