I’m just going to give major props to whoever designed the stage for the Oscars this year, because it was gorgeous. The best in years; I adore it.
Okay, so let’s start at the beginning; Seth MacFarlane’s four hour, zillion-song opening. If you missed it, watch the opening act here.
– On ‘Argo’ and Ben Affleck’s Director snub: ‘The story was so top secret that the film’s director is unknown to the Academy’.
– On ‘Django Unchained’: ‘This is the story of a man fighting to get back his woman, who’s been subjected to unthinkable violence. Or as Chris Brown and Rihanna call it, a date movie.” ZING. ‘I’m told the screenplay is loosely based on Mel Gibson’s voicemails.’ ZING.
– ‘The ceremony is being watched by close to a billion people worldwide, which is why Jodie Foster will be up here in a bit to ask for her privacy.’
– Channing Tatum dancing. Not because I wanted the song in there, but only because he’s a babe.
– On ‘Amour’: ‘… or as I call it: “This is 90”.’ All this did was make me think that Judd Apatow doesn’t belong at the Oscars and neither does Seth.
– The whole Daniel Day Lewis method-acting bit.
– Everything that happens from the moment Kirk comes down. The boob song. Notice at the end of that song when they’re talking about the gay man’s choir it sounds like the whole audience is laughing but it looks as though they’re barely tolerating it? Canned laughter gone wrong. The sock puppets. The third song (also the second song, but Channing Tatum). The Sally Field bit. The FOURTH song. Four. Songs. Too. Many. I don’t give a fuck if they were celebrating musicals, I’m not here to watch ‘Seth MacFarlane: The Concert’.
Okay, so here were the winners, with speeches and reactions where possible:
ACTOR IN A SUPPORTING ROLE
Christoph Waltz, Django Unchained
He’s fantastic, and what a great speech. Watch him answer questions in the press room here.
ANIMATED SHORT FILM
ANIMATED FEATURE FILM
Claudio Miranda, Life of Pi
Bill Westenhofer, Guillaume Rocheron, Erik-Jan De Boer and Donald R. Elliott, Life of Pi
Jacqueline Durran, Anna Karenina
MAKEUP AND HAIRSTYLING
Lisa Westcott and Julie Dartnell, Les Miserables
LIVE ACTION SHORT FILM
DOCUMENTARY SHORT SUBJECT
Searching for Sugar Man
FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM
Andy Nelson, Mark Paterson and Simon Hayes, Les Miserables
Paul N.J. Ottosson, Zero Dark Thirty and Per Hallberg and Karen Baker Landers, Skyfall(TIE)
ACTRESS IN A SUPPORTING ROLE
Anne Hathaway, Les Miserables
I was expecting Anne to be a rambling, blubbering mess for this, but as it unfolded and she calmly thanked everyone and remained composed, I realised that homegirl’s been practicing this speech every. Single. Day. Since she accepted the role.
From the press room, via PopSugar:
On life since meeting husband Adam Shulman: “He’s just made everything better and clearer and more real.”
On whether this relinquishes her underdog status: “Officially? Never. I’m an actor. This is spectacular, but if you want to get realistic with it, you’re always looking for the next job. You always think at the end of one, it doesn’t matter what has happened here, no one is ever going to hire me again. I’m going to ride this wave as long as I can, but I always feel as an actor gotta work gotta work gotta work.”
On whether she is impressed with her own performance: “I’m impressed by the work around me. I’m impressed by my makeup. I’m impressed by my costume . . . set . . . score . . . song, but all I can hear is all the notes I didn’t quite hit. Maybe I’ll get over it someday.”
On thanking costar Hugh Jackman: “Tom Hooper, our director, has gone on record as saying this film wouldn’t have happened if Hugh didn’t exist and I know exactly why he says that. Hugh is this magical alien combination of strength, soul, heart, artistry, and fun. We do live in a world that can tend toward the cynical, but to have something in a film like this that believes that the goodness in the character. That someone like Hugh exists that has that goodness inside him, it makes that film soar. I mean we’re not coal miners, it’s not hard work, but it was challenging. We looked to him every day. He never complained once. He did as many takes as need be. He was absolutely our rock, and inspiration to me personally.”
On her acceptance speech: “I had a dream and it came true and that can happen and that’s wonderful. That’s all I was saying. I live my life with love.”
William Goldenberg, Argo
Rick Carter (Production Design); Jim Erickson (Set Decoration), Lincoln
Mychael Danna, Life of Pi
“Skyfall” from Skyfall, Music and Lyric by Adele Adkins and Paul Epworth
‘You’re all aaamaaazing!’ I could watch Adele accept speeches for songs I don’t care about all day long. She’s a breath of fresh air.
From the press room, via PopSugar:
On the rumor that it took her only 10 minutes to record “Skyfall”: “No. It was two studio sessions. It was a bit longer than that. We’re good but we’re not that good!”
On making her way to an EGOT after Grammy and Oscar wins: “I dunno, maybe I’ll do an HBO special like Beyoncé did! And a Tony I’m not so sure, maybe someday I’ll do a musical.”
On partying tonight: “I dunno, I think I might go to the Vanity Fair party with my boyfriend, but I’ve got to be up at 6 . . . and one glass of champagne and I’m gone these days!”
On collaborating with Paul Epworth:“Sometimes it just happens great like it does with us, you just got to connect and just hope for the best. Be really honest with whoever you are working with . . . I cried the first time when I talked to Paul about my ex and then ‘Rolling in the Deep’ happened.”
Chris Terrio, Argo
Quentin Tarantino, Django Unchained
From the press room, via PopSugar:
On making movies for a global audience: “I’ve always prided myself on being an international filmmaker. The way I look at it is I’m not an American filmmaker. I’m an American and a filmmaker, but I make movies for the planet Earth. To me, America is just another market. I make my movies for Earth.”
On the Django backlash: “I have to say, all that criticism that came out ended up being kind of a good thing. One of the things I wanted to do was I wanted to actually start a conversation about slavery. I wanted to take an audience in the 21st century and stick them in the antebellum South. That back and forth is really what I wanted for the end of the day for this movie and I hope that continues for the next few years.”
On the commercial success of a movie with such an adult theme: “I go into my own little film study from time to time especially during crazy moments like this. I’ve been doing a lot of study on the films made in the early 1970s, the beginning of what they call ‘New Hollywood.’ I was doing this study for my own edification. I looked at the nine nominees and more than most other times I can think of, I recognize the spirit that was going on then. Even the commercial success, there’s nothing about the subject that suggest they would be commercial or popular, but they have been. The fact that we are not making every movie for teenagers is sort of a cool thing, especially since I’m not a teenager anymore.”
Ang Lee, Life of Pi
ACTRESS IN A LEADING ROLE
Jennifer Lawrence, Silver Linings Playbook
Okay I think my favourite part about this is the long shot of Kristen, the little grimy meth head looking all pressed that Katniss is about to win an Oscar while Bella Swan looks on like the inferior bitch she is.
Other than that, props to Hugh Jackman for literally running to help J Law up when she tripped. When she kind of stumbles the second time I swear I can hear her thinking ‘this is fucked, I’ve just tripped and I’m at the fucking Oscars.’
I loved the shit out of her speech. I cried, I’m not going to lie to you guys. But she nailed it. It was funny, heartfelt, short and sweet. Perfect. I love her.
From the press room, via PopSugar:
On her fall while walking up to the stage: “Was that on purpose? Absolutely! What happened? What do you mean what happened — look at my dress! I tried to walk upstairs in this dress, that’s what happened. I tried to walk upstairs and stepped on the fabric. They waxed the stairs. What was going through my mind? A bad word that I can’t say that starts with F.”
On what this win and movie means for people with mental illness: “I don’t think we’re going to stop until we get rid of the stigma for mental illness — I know David won’t. I hope that this helps. It’s so bizarre that in this world if you have asthma you take asthma medicine. If you have diabetes you take diabetes medicine. But as soon as you have to take medication for your mind there’s such a stigma behind it.”
On the getting-ready process today: “I’m just cross-eyed! The process today was so stressful. I felt like Steve Martin in Father of the Bride watching my house just get torn apart. My whole family was getting ready. My friends stopped by; it was kind of fun, but it was mostly chaotic. I dunno, I just woke up and tried on the dress and it fit — thank god — and then I took a shower. That’s what I did! I got my hair and makeup done . . . and then I came to the Oscars! I’m sorry, I took a shot before coming back here. Sorry!”
On this time being different than her first nomination: “Well, I didn’t eat today because I was so stressed, so I was starving for the car ride over. So that sucked. But I think I was less nervous because I had been through it before. I know more people. Last time I was brand new to the industry and didn’t know anyone. So I know more people and that makes it a lot less awkward.”
On Seth’s hosting and the opening boob song: “I love the boobs song. I thought he was great, really hilarious.”
ACTOR IN A LEADING ROLE
Daniel Day-Lewis, Lincoln
Meryl is lovely. Her humour actually kind of reminds me of Jennifer Lawrence. As for DDL, what a guy! Flawless, effortless speech. What more is there to say?
As for the speeches, the ‘three sexiest producers’ line was great.
Ben’s speech was great, particularly everything he said about Jennifer Garner. I love them as a couple. Also at the start of the speech he turns into like this rapidfire, machine-gun thanker and it’s kind of great. Oh, and Scruffleck’s a babe. I choked up for this one, too. He seems so overcome and I just loved it.
Ben Affleck, from the press room, via PopSugar:
On the feeling Argo was going to be something special: “I was excited about making the movie. These guys had a script. I really liked it. I called them up. I wanted to make the movie and I wanted to make it with them. I wanted to make something quality. I didn’t take a more meta approach than that. I was excited to make it and work with these guys and let the chips fall where they may as long as we made something we were proud of.”
On the moment they thought Argo had a good chance of winning:“When they gave us the trophies, I was confident we would win. I don’t get into too much of the Oscar-ology and pontificating — which is great and people like it. I hope people are interested in the Oscars, because it helps our industry and makes people make better films, but I don’t read it.”
On Michelle Obama announcing Argo’s win: “I was sort of hallucinating when that was happening. In the course of a hallucination it doesn’t seem that odd. It just seems natural since the whole thing is unnatural. I was just asking these two guys outside, was that Michelle Obama? In retrospect the fact that it was the first lady was a huge honor and that she was surrounded by service people felt appropriate. It was very cool.”
On the best director snub, now that Argo won: “Naturally I was disappointed. When I look at the directors, people who weren’t nominated as well — Kathryn Bigelow, Quentin Tarantino, Tom Hooper — it’s just amazing. These are all directors who I admire tremendously. It was a good year. You know what, you’re not entitled to anything, I am honored to be here. I’m honored to be with these guys. I’m really, really honored to win an Academy Award.”
My mum muted the TV and ducked out (ducked… like Duck Sauce. ‘BARBRA STREISAND… oOoOoOoooooooooooh!’) to check her email. It wasn’t for me, but she’s a diva and I’m not gonna hate on her because she does her thing very well.
The musicals tribute: Catherine Zeta-Jones performing ‘All That Jazz’, Jennifer Hudson performing ‘And I Am Telling You I’m Not Going’, and the whole Les Mis cast performing ‘One Day More’. Watch the whole thing here.
This is like… a lot to deal with. It was good, sure. Necessary? Not so much.
J-Huds SLAYED. I’ve never been particularly interested in her, I haven’t seen ‘Dreamgirls’, but she’s been on my favourite television hot-mess ‘Smash’, so I’ve been shipping her for like a week and a half, unlike the rest of the world who has known she was the shit for years now. But really, she killed this and I loved her performance. That growl in her voice for that last note was some eye of the tiger shit. Like, she hunted that note down like a predator and devoured it without remorse.
As for Les Mis, well, they were all fantastic. I don’t really have anything else to add. It was great.
I mean, is it just me or does she look kind of bored? Aside from that it’s everything you’d expect, stellar vocals that she makes look completely effortless, like this is just any other day.
If I’m half as fierce as her at her age I will be doing better than like everybody else, hey. That last note? I’m like exhausted by how powerful it was.
And finally, other things that happened:
– RENEE ZELLWEGER WAS SHIIIIIIITFACED:
“Shit, son. It is *bright* up here. Glad they didn’t ask *me* to perform, didn’t want to anyway. Fuckers. Catherine can have it. Cunt. SHIT, falling. NOPE. SAVED IT. Yes! I RULE! Oh, read? I can’t read dat shit, what does that say? What are words?! Ah! I don’t know who that is hahahahaha.”
“I am so good at standing up. No one knows how drunk I am. LOOK HOW SOBER I AM. Oh, shit. Say those words. Yep, got it. I am GOOD at this. Adele? What a cunt. I’ve got an Oscar, too. YOUR STAR WILL FALL, ADELE. SKYYYY FALL. HAHAHAHA OMG. I’m funny. I should get an Oscar for being funny. And I could be British, too. I was British in those movies. Wait, who’s talking, who is that to my right? RICHARDDDDD GEEEEEEREEEEEE. DICK! DICK! LOOK AT ME!! … *angry sigh of acceptance* fine. Don’t look. Dick’s such a dick. I’m gonna barf on his hamster later.”
And that was that, basically. What was your favourite part of the evening?
The 2013 Oscar red carpet.
And so it begins. The stars hit up the pre-Oscar parties.
The 2013 Independent Spirit Award winners.
The Independent Spirit Awards red carpet.
PCP Poll – The 2013 Oscars Edition.