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The stories I don’t have time to tell you about: February 28, 2013.

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– These pants are beyond a joke now, Justin. [BuzzFeed]

– Mary-Louise Parker denies threatening a shop owner’s life and calling him a f*g. [GossipCop]

– LiLo’s not going to take her plea deal because she’s LiLo and we all know she won’t end up in jail anyway. [DlistedTMZ]

– 21 endearingly “derpy” faces of Lana Del Rey. I use quotations because I don’t particularly care for that word but I’m too lazy to put anything else in its place. This was the happy medium. [BuzzFeed]

– Nicholas Hoult says he’s ‘very, very happy’ about J Law winning the Oscar, and an article that is all about how J Law is amazing. [ONTD!, ONTD!]

– Lana Del Rey talks about her next album, reveals song title ‘Black Beauty’. [Idolator]

– PETA’s mad at Beyonce. [GossipCop]

– Lena Dunham is team Hathaway. [ONTD!]

– Michelle Williams and Jason Segel broke up. [Celebitchy]

– Harry Styles got a shoe to the dick on stage. [GossipCop]

– Mila Kunis being a babe on the cover of Marie Claire. [ONTD!]

 

Related posts:

The stories I don’t have time to tell you about: February 26 + 27, 2013.

The stories I don’t have time to tell you about: February 24, 2013.

The stories I don’t have time to tell you about: February 22 + 23, 2013.

The stories I don’t have time to tell you about: February 21, 2013.

The stories I don’t have time to tell you about: February 20, 2013.

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The stories I don’t have time to tell you about: February 26 + 27, 2013.

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Oscars links:

– J Law orders McDonalds from the red carpet, gets swarmed by her family backstage after her win. [GossipCop, ONTD!]

– Anne Hathaway’s most annoying moments from award season. [TooFab]

– Jack Nicholson hits on J Law. [GossipCop]

– J Law Oscar press room GIFs. Amazing. [PopSugar]

– 2013 award season fashion round up. [ONTD!]

– Ryan Kwanten got turned away from the Vanity Fair Oscar party. [GossipCop]

– Anne Hathaway practiced her acceptance speech a gazillion times because she wants people to like her. I don’t think it helped, hey. [Dlisted]

– J Law used the mani-cam to yell ‘YOUR ASS IS MINE, STONE!’ to Emma Stone. [ONTD!]

– The ‘Paperman’ producer got kicked out for throwing paper planes in the auditorium after their win. [WorstPreviews]

– The Onion apologises for calling Quvenzhané Wallis a cunt during the Oscars. [GossipCop]

– The best celebrity instagram photos from Oscar weekend. [PopSugar]

– Ben Affleck shaved his ‘good luck beard’ off at the Vanity Fair Oscar Party. [GossipCop]

– Seth MacFarlane won’t host the Oscars again. Good. [TMZ]

 

General links:

– Prince Jackson is going to make his acting debut on 90210. [GossipCop]

– Kathy Bates is going to be in ‘American Horror Story’ season 3. [PITNB]

– Justin Bieber wears a gas mask in London. [GossipCop]

– J Law has gone dark again. [PopSugar]

– Kim K says she ‘always should have been with Kanye’, and also, look at a cover photoshoot they did where they’re basically fucking. [GossipCop, TooFab]

– Chris Brown says that his ‘deepest regret’ is brutalizing Rihanna, but then is like ‘what can I say? She loves me’. So basically he was like ‘yeah, you’re not the only one who thinks she’s a dumbass.’ [Dlisted]

– Here’s a new pic of Chloe Moretz drenched in blood for ‘Carrie’. [ONTD!]

– LiLo is going to guest on ‘Anger Management’. [GossipCop]

– Meanwhile, LiLo’s lawyer is all like ‘we can fix her!’… Like the ‘Bob the Builder’ of celebrity trainwrecks. [TMZ]

– James Franco dyed his hair an awful colour. [ONTD!]

– Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds visited children at a Canadian hospital. [GossipCop]

 

Related posts:

The stories I don’t have time to tell you about: February 24, 2013.

The stories I don’t have time to tell you about: February 22 + 23, 2013.

The stories I don’t have time to tell you about: February 21, 2013.

The stories I don’t have time to tell you about: February 20, 2013.

The stories I don’t have time to tell you about: February 19, 2013.

The post-Oscars post! Elton John’s viewing party, Vanity Fair’s after party, and celebs share their personal pics from the day!

 

You guys, I have literally done nothing but Oscars-related activities for the last 12 hours. What a great day!

Anyway, thanks for hanging out with me today, I hope you all had as much fun as I did. Oscar day is my favourite event of the year. If you like PCP tell your friends by sharing these posts with any of those buttons down there. I’ll love you forever if you do. But for now, this is probably me signing off for the night. I’m not going to bother with a ‘Stories… ‘ post today because it is Oscar day and literally everyone in Hollywood who matters today has already been covered. xoxo

 

Related posts:

J Law fell and Zellweger was SHITFACED and other things that happened on the most predictable, most host-indulgent Oscars of all time.

The 2013 Oscar red carpet.

And so it begins. The stars hit up the pre-Oscar parties.

The 2013 Independent Spirit Award winners.

The Independent Spirit Awards red carpet.

J Law fell and Zellweger was SHITFACED and other things that happened on the most predictable, most host-indulgent Oscars of all time.

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I’m just going to give major props to whoever designed the stage for the Oscars this year, because it was gorgeous. The best in years; I adore it.

Okay, so let’s start at the beginning; Seth MacFarlane’s four hour, zillion-song opening. If you missed it, watch the opening act here.

The good:

– On ‘Argo’ and Ben Affleck’s Director snub: ‘The story was so top secret that the film’s director is unknown to the Academy’.

– On ‘Django Unchained’: ‘This is the story of a man fighting to get back his woman, who’s been subjected to unthinkable violence. Or as Chris Brown and Rihanna call it, a date movie.” ZING. ‘I’m told the screenplay is loosely based on Mel Gibson’s voicemails.’ ZING.

– ‘The ceremony is being watched by close to a billion people worldwide, which is why Jodie Foster will be up here in a bit to ask for her privacy.’

– Channing Tatum dancing. Not because I wanted the song in there, but only because he’s a babe.

 

The bad:

– On ‘Amour’: ‘… or as I call it: “This is 90”.’ All this did was make me think that Judd Apatow doesn’t belong at the Oscars and neither does Seth.

– The whole Daniel Day Lewis method-acting bit.

– Everything that happens from the moment Kirk comes down. The boob song. Notice at the end of that song when they’re talking about the gay man’s choir it sounds like the whole audience is laughing but it looks as though they’re barely tolerating it? Canned laughter gone wrong. The sock puppets. The third song (also the second song, but Channing Tatum). The Sally Field bit. The FOURTH song. Four. Songs. Too. Many. I don’t give a fuck if they were celebrating musicals, I’m not here to watch ‘Seth MacFarlane: The Concert’.

 

Okay, so here were the winners, with speeches and reactions where possible:

ACTOR IN A SUPPORTING ROLE

Christoph Waltz, Django Unchained

 

He’s fantastic, and what a great speech. Watch him answer questions in the press room here.

 

ANIMATED SHORT FILM

Paperman

ANIMATED FEATURE FILM

Brave

CINEMATOGRAPHY

Claudio Miranda, Life of Pi

VISUAL EFFECTS

Bill Westenhofer, Guillaume Rocheron, Erik-Jan De Boer and Donald R. Elliott, Life of Pi

COSTUME DESIGN

Jacqueline Durran, Anna Karenina

MAKEUP AND HAIRSTYLING

Lisa Westcott and Julie Dartnell, Les Miserables

LIVE ACTION SHORT FILM

Curfew

DOCUMENTARY SHORT SUBJECT

Inocente

DOCUMENTARY FEATURE

Searching for Sugar Man

FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM

Amour

SOUND MIXING

Andy Nelson, Mark Paterson and Simon Hayes, Les Miserables

SOUND EDITING

Paul N.J. Ottosson, Zero Dark Thirty and Per Hallberg and Karen Baker Landers, Skyfall(TIE)

ACTRESS IN A SUPPORTING ROLE

Anne Hathaway, Les Miserables

 

I was expecting Anne to be a rambling, blubbering mess for this, but as it unfolded and she calmly thanked everyone and remained composed, I realised that homegirl’s been practicing this speech every. Single. Day. Since she accepted the role.

From the press room, via PopSugar:

On life since meeting husband Adam Shulman: “He’s just made everything better and clearer and more real.”

On whether this relinquishes her underdog status: “Officially? Never. I’m an actor. This is spectacular, but if you want to get realistic with it, you’re always looking for the next job. You always think at the end of one, it doesn’t matter what has happened here, no one is ever going to hire me again. I’m going to ride this wave as long as I can, but I always feel as an actor gotta work gotta work gotta work.”

On whether she is impressed with her own performance: “I’m impressed by the work around me. I’m impressed by my makeup. I’m impressed by my costume . . . set . . . score . . . song, but all I can hear is all the notes I didn’t quite hit. Maybe I’ll get over it someday.”

On thanking costar Hugh Jackman: “Tom Hooper, our director, has gone on record as saying this film wouldn’t have happened if Hugh didn’t exist and I know exactly why he says that. Hugh is this magical alien combination of strength, soul, heart, artistry, and fun. We do live in a world that can tend toward the cynical, but to have something in a film like this that believes that the goodness in the character. That someone like Hugh exists that has that goodness inside him, it makes that film soar. I mean we’re not coal miners, it’s not hard work, but it was challenging. We looked to him every day. He never complained once. He did as many takes as need be. He was absolutely our rock, and inspiration to me personally.”

On her acceptance speech: “I had a dream and it came true and that can happen and that’s wonderful. That’s all I was saying. I live my life with love.”

 

FILM EDITING

William Goldenberg, Argo

PRODUCTION DESIGN

Rick Carter (Production Design); Jim Erickson (Set Decoration), Lincoln

ORIGINAL SCORE

Mychael Danna, Life of Pi

ORIGINAL SONG

“Skyfall” from Skyfall, Music and Lyric by Adele Adkins and Paul Epworth

 

‘You’re all aaamaaazing!’ I could watch Adele accept speeches for songs I don’t care about all day long. She’s a breath of fresh air.

From the press room, via PopSugar:

On the rumor that it took her only 10 minutes to record “Skyfall”: “No. It was two studio sessions. It was a bit longer than that. We’re good but we’re not that good!”

On making her way to an EGOT after Grammy and Oscar wins: “I dunno, maybe I’ll do an HBO special like Beyoncé did! And a Tony I’m not so sure, maybe someday I’ll do a musical.”

On partying tonight: “I dunno, I think I might go to the Vanity Fair party with my boyfriend, but I’ve got to be up at 6 . . . and one glass of champagne and I’m gone these days!”

On collaborating with Paul Epworth:“Sometimes it just happens great like it does with us, you just got to connect and just hope for the best. Be really honest with whoever you are working with . . . I cried the first time when I talked to Paul about my ex and then ‘Rolling in the Deep’ happened.”

 

ADAPTED SCREENPLAY

Chris Terrio, Argo

ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY

Quentin Tarantino, Django Unchained

 

From the press room, via PopSugar:

On making movies for a global audience: “I’ve always prided myself on being an international filmmaker. The way I look at it is I’m not an American filmmaker. I’m an American and a filmmaker, but I make movies for the planet Earth. To me, America is just another market. I make my movies for Earth.”

On the Django backlash: “I have to say, all that criticism that came out ended up being kind of a good thing. One of the things I wanted to do was I wanted to actually start a conversation about slavery. I wanted to take an audience in the 21st century and stick them in the antebellum South. That back and forth is really what I wanted for the end of the day for this movie and I hope that continues for the next few years.”

On the commercial success of a movie with such an adult theme: “I go into my own little film study from time to time especially during crazy moments like this. I’ve been doing a lot of study on the films made in the early 1970s, the beginning of what they call ‘New Hollywood.’ I was doing this study for my own edification. I looked at the nine nominees and more than most other times I can think of, I recognize the spirit that was going on then. Even the commercial success, there’s nothing about the subject that suggest they would be commercial or popular, but they have been. The fact that we are not making every movie for teenagers is sort of a cool thing, especially since I’m not a teenager anymore.”

 

DIRECTING

Ang Lee, Life of Pi

ACTRESS IN A LEADING ROLE

Jennifer Lawrence, Silver Linings Playbook

 

Okay I think my favourite part about this is the long shot of Kristen, the little grimy meth head looking all pressed that Katniss is about to win an Oscar while Bella Swan looks on like the inferior bitch she is.

Other than that, props to Hugh Jackman for literally running to help J Law up when she tripped. When she kind of stumbles the second time I swear I can hear her thinking ‘this is fucked, I’ve just tripped and I’m at the fucking Oscars.’

I loved the shit out of her speech. I cried, I’m not going to lie to you guys. But she nailed it. It was funny, heartfelt, short and sweet. Perfect. I love her.

From the press room, via PopSugar:

On her fall while walking up to the stage: “Was that on purpose? Absolutely! What happened? What do you mean what happened — look at my dress! I tried to walk upstairs in this dress, that’s what happened. I tried to walk upstairs and stepped on the fabric. They waxed the stairs. What was going through my mind? A bad word that I can’t say that starts with F.”

On what this win and movie means for people with mental illness: “I don’t think we’re going to stop until we get rid of the stigma for mental illness — I know David won’t. I hope that this helps. It’s so bizarre that in this world if you have asthma you take asthma medicine. If you have diabetes you take diabetes medicine. But as soon as you have to take medication for your mind there’s such a stigma behind it.”

On the getting-ready process today: “I’m just cross-eyed! The process today was so stressful. I felt like Steve Martin in Father of the Bride watching my house just get torn apart. My whole family was getting ready. My friends stopped by; it was kind of fun, but it was mostly chaotic. I dunno, I just woke up and tried on the dress and it fit — thank god — and then I took a shower. That’s what I did! I got my hair and makeup done . . . and then I came to the Oscars! I’m sorry, I took a shot before coming back here. Sorry!”

On this time being different than her first nomination: “Well, I didn’t eat today because I was so stressed, so I was starving for the car ride over. So that sucked. But I think I was less nervous because I had been through it before. I know more people. Last time I was brand new to the industry and didn’t know anyone. So I know more people and that makes it a lot less awkward.”

On Seth’s hosting and the opening boob song: “I love the boobs song. I thought he was great, really hilarious.”

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ACTOR IN A LEADING ROLE

Daniel Day-Lewis, Lincoln

 

Meryl is lovely. Her humour actually kind of reminds me of Jennifer Lawrence. As for DDL, what a guy! Flawless, effortless speech. What more is there to say?

 

PICTURE

Argo

 

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Fieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerce!!!!

As for the speeches, the ‘three sexiest producers’ line was great.

Ben’s speech was great, particularly everything he said about Jennifer Garner. I love them as a couple. Also at the start of the speech he turns into like this rapidfire, machine-gun thanker and it’s kind of great. Oh, and Scruffleck’s a babe. I choked up for this one, too. He seems so overcome and I just loved it.

Ben Affleck, from the press room, via PopSugar:

On the feeling Argo was going to be something special: “I was excited about making the movie. These guys had a script. I really liked it. I called them up. I wanted to make the movie and I wanted to make it with them. I wanted to make something quality. I didn’t take a more meta approach than that. I was excited to make it and work with these guys and let the chips fall where they may as long as we made something we were proud of.”

On the moment they thought Argo had a good chance of winning:“When they gave us the trophies, I was confident we would win. I don’t get into too much of the Oscar-ology and pontificating — which is great and people like it. I hope people are interested in the Oscars, because it helps our industry and makes people make better films, but I don’t read it.”

On Michelle Obama announcing Argo’s win: “I was sort of hallucinating when that was happening. In the course of a hallucination it doesn’t seem that odd. It just seems natural since the whole thing is unnatural. I was just asking these two guys outside, was that Michelle Obama? In retrospect the fact that it was the first lady was a huge honor and that she was surrounded by service people felt appropriate. It was very cool.”

On the best director snub, now that Argo won: “Naturally I was disappointed. When I look at the directors, people who weren’t nominated as well — Kathryn Bigelow, Quentin Tarantino, Tom Hooper — it’s just amazing. These are all directors who I admire tremendously. It was a good year. You know what, you’re not entitled to anything, I am honored to be here. I’m honored to be with these guys. I’m really, really honored to win an Academy Award.”

 

The performances:

Barbra Streisand

 

My mum muted the TV and ducked out (ducked… like Duck Sauce. ‘BARBRA STREISAND… oOoOoOoooooooooooh!’) to check her email. It wasn’t for me, but she’s a diva and I’m not gonna hate on her because she does her thing very well.

The musicals tribute: Catherine Zeta-Jones performing ‘All That Jazz’, Jennifer Hudson performing ‘And I Am Telling You I’m Not Going’, and the whole Les Mis cast performing ‘One Day More’. Watch the whole thing here.

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This is like… a lot to deal with. It was good, sure. Necessary? Not so much.

J-Huds SLAYED. I’ve never been particularly interested in her, I haven’t seen ‘Dreamgirls’, but she’s been on my favourite television hot-mess ‘Smash’, so I’ve been shipping her for like a week and a half, unlike the rest of the world who has known she was the shit for years now. But really, she killed this and I loved her performance. That growl in her voice for that last note was some eye of the tiger shit. Like, she hunted that note down like a predator and devoured it without remorse.

As for Les Mis, well, they were all fantastic. I don’t really have anything else to add. It was great.

 

Adele:

 

I mean, is it just me or does she look kind of bored? Aside from that it’s everything you’d expect, stellar vocals that she makes look completely effortless, like this is just any other day.

 

Shirley Bassey:

 

If I’m half as fierce as her at her age I will be doing better than like everybody else, hey. That last note? I’m like exhausted by how powerful it was.

 

And finally, other things that happened:

– RENEE ZELLWEGER WAS SHIIIIIIITFACED:

 

Internal monologue:

“Shit, son. It is *bright* up here. Glad they didn’t ask *me* to perform, didn’t want to anyway. Fuckers. Catherine can have it. Cunt. SHIT, falling. NOPE. SAVED IT. Yes! I RULE! Oh, read? I can’t read dat shit, what does that say? What are words?! Ah! I don’t know who that is hahahahaha.”

 

Internal monologue:

“I am so good at standing up. No one knows how drunk I am. LOOK HOW SOBER I AM. Oh, shit. Say those words. Yep, got it. I am GOOD at this. Adele? What a cunt. I’ve got an Oscar, too. YOUR STAR WILL FALL, ADELE. SKYYYY FALL. HAHAHAHA OMG. I’m funny. I should get an Oscar for being funny. And I could be British, too. I was British in those movies. Wait, who’s talking, who is that to my right? RICHARDDDDD GEEEEEEREEEEEE. DICK! DICK! LOOK AT ME!! … *angry sigh of acceptance* fine. Don’t look. Dick’s such a dick. I’m gonna barf on his hamster later.”

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And that was that, basically. What was your favourite part of the evening?

 

Related posts:

The 2013 Oscar red carpet.

And so it begins. The stars hit up the pre-Oscar parties.

The 2013 Independent Spirit Award winners.

The Independent Spirit Awards red carpet.

PCP Poll – The 2013 Oscars Edition.

The 2013 Oscar red carpet.

 

You may need to check back here later for any additional gowns, there’s seven minutes until the show starts and I’d like to take my place in front of the TV. I’ll be tweeting throughout the show, and then come back later for the winners and a recap of the best and worst moments! Who are your favourite looks?
Related posts:

And so it begins. The stars hit up the pre-Oscar parties.

The 2013 Independent Spirit Award winners.

The Independent Spirit Awards red carpet.

PCP Poll – The 2013 Oscars Edition.

The 2013 Grammy performances.

And so it begins. The stars hit up the pre-Oscar parties.

 

Come back later today and we can discuss the red carpet! Eee! Who’s excited?!

 

Related posts:

The 2013 Independent Spirit Award winners.

The Independent Spirit Awards red carpet.

PCP Poll – The 2013 Oscars Edition.

The 2013 Grammy performances.

The 2013 BAFTA award winners.

The stories I don’t have time to tell you about: February 24, 2013.

 

– The week in celebrity TwitPics. [GossipCop]

– Celebs awkwardly posing with swag at the Independent Spirit Awards. [ONTD!]

– An Oscars drinking game guaranteed to get you shitfaced. [BuzzFeed]

– MC Hammer got arrested and blasted the cop for alleged racial profiling. [GossipCop]

– Michelle Obama on Jimmy Fallon. She is one of the fiercest bitches around. If she wrote a book I’d buy it. In the last video she gives Jay Leno shit, good for her, he’s a piece of shit. [ONTD!]

– LiLo’s ex-assistant, you know, the one who lied to the cops for her one time and bailed her out of jail for punching that girl, only to be fired and kicked out of her car outside the police station in front of a whole team of paparazzi, has been subpoenaed and will be forced to testify. In other words, Lindsay is fucked. [TMZ]

– Watch a video where Kathy Griffin pierces Aubrey Plaza’s ear. [GossipCop]

– Watch the absolute best video remix of ‘Scream & Shout’, meaning (obviously) that it’s like 70% Britney and the remix is really hot. [PITNB]

– Sam Ronson says she had panic attacks ‘all the time’ while she was dating LiLo. [ONTD!]

– Justin Bieber got turned away from a club because ‘he shuffles on stage’. [GossipCop]

– The worst dressed stars of the past 85 Oscars. [TooFab]

– Kanye West has his pissypants on again. He hates ‘Suit & Tie’, is a bitter Betty about the Grammys. [ONTD!]

– Celebs mingle inside the Independent Spirit Awards. [PopSugar]

– JT performed ‘Mirrors’ in Germany. [ONTD!]

 

Related posts:

The stories I don’t have time to tell you about: February 22 + 23, 2013.

The stories I don’t have time to tell you about: February 21, 2013.

The stories I don’t have time to tell you about: February 20, 2013.

The stories I don’t have time to tell you about: February 19, 2013.

The stories I don’t have time to tell you about: February 18, 2013.

The 2013 Independent Spirit Award winners.

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Best First Screenplay – Derek Connolly, Safety Not Guaranteed

Best First Feature – Stephen Chbosky, The Perks Of Being A Wallflower

Best Supporting Male Performance – Matthew McConaughey, Magic Mike

Robert Altman Award for Cast Ensemble – Starlet

Piaget Producers Award – Mynette Louie, Stones in the Sun

Someone to Watch Award – Adam Leon, Gimme the Loot

 

Truer Than Fiction Award – Peter Nicks, The Waiting Room

 

Best International Film – Michael Haneke, Amour

John Cassavetes Award for Under $500,000 – Middle of Nowhere

Best Supporting Female Performance – Helen Hunt, The Sessions

Best Cinematography – Ben Richardson, Beasts of the Southern Wild

Best Screenplay – David O. Russell, Silver Linings Playbook

Best Documentary – The Invisible War

Best Director – David O. Russell, Silver Linings Playbook

Best Lead Female Performance – Jennifer Lawrence, Silver Linings Playbook

 

I love every single thing that comes out of this girl’s mouth.

Best Lead Male Performance – John Hawkes, The Sessions

Best Feature Film – Silver Linings Playbook

 

And that’s that! The road to the Oscars is almost complete, I think J Law is a shoo-in for best actress tomorrow, what about you?

 

Related posts:

The Independent Spirit Awards red carpet.

PCP Poll – The 2013 Oscars Edition.

The 2013 Grammy performances.

The 2013 BAFTA award winners.

The 2013 Grammy Awards red carpet and winners.

The Independent Spirit Awards red carpet.

 

Come back later today for the winners! xoxo

 

Related posts:

The Elle Style Awards red carpet.

Photos from the Clive Davis pre-Grammy gala.

The 2013 Grammy Awards red carpet and winners.

The 2013 BAFTA awards red carpet.

The stars attend the Oscar Nominations Lunch.

The stories I don’t have time to tell you about: February 22 + 23, 2013.

 

 

 

Oh my God, you guys. I got home from work, ate dinner, and started putting this post together, and it’s like a million years later now because there’s just so much to discuss. I can’t even right now because I’m sleepy. Enjoy xoxo

 

– Jennifer Lawrence for Dior. [GossipCop]

– Watch this hair tutorial where this girl teaches you how to use a curling iron by BURNING HER HAIR OFF. Oh my God, watch it. That poor girl. But oh my God, seriously. Watch it. [BuzzFeed]

– Mila and Ashton are moving in together, and Mila fronts an ethical gemstone company. [TheSuperficial, ONTD!]

– Pitbull beat LiLo in court over the whole ‘got it locked up like Lindsay Lohan’ lawsuit. [TMZ]

– Michelle Obama is the coolest mother in the history of the world. Watch ‘The Evolution of Mom Dancing’ on Jimmy Fallon. [GossipCop]

– Here’s Victor Garber and his bf shopping at The Grove. You guys, I went to the Grove when I was in LA, and now that I’m back home I keep seeing all these celebs I would kill to meet hanging out there and it makes me ever so glum. Yes. I would kill to meet Victor Garber. It would go like this: ‘THOMAS! THOMAS ANDREWS!!!!!!!! I mean, VICTOR!!! TELL ME ABOUT ‘TITANIC’ WHAT IS LEO LIIIIIIIIIIKE?!?!’ Speaking of which, how well do you know ‘Titanic’? Full marks, bitches! No surprises there, I have no life and this is one of five topics that I excel in (the others being Britney Spears, Sweet Valley High, Scream [although not to the extent of my friend Rob who will read this and know truth], and quotes from ‘Friends’). [JustJared, BuzzFeed]

– Angelina Jolie is mentoring Elle Fanning. [Celebitchy]

– Steven Tyler spent $5 million dollars on cocaine. [TMZ]

– The ‘Spring Breakers’ Madrid premiere, and, saving the best for last in Rome. [TheSuperficial, ONTD!]

– JT is going to host SNL for the fifth time. [PITNB]

– Kim K explains what she meant when she said that Kanye doesn’t let her give her fans autographs. Honestly I feel like every other story from her is a clarification for some dumb shit she’s said, is that just me? [GossipCop]

– Ethan Hawke hates the Oscars. [Celebitchy]

– 15 reasons why Ryan Gosling is better in GIF form. [SocialiteLife]

– 5 Oscar-nominated songs that should’ve won but didn’t. [Idolator]

– Nick Carter got engaged to some girl who I’ve never heard of but has some porn-worthy bolt-on titties on her. [GossipCop]

– Snoop Dogg reunited with Suge Knight. [TMZ]

– 25 heartwarming Ben & Leslie moments from ‘Parks & Rec’. [BuzzFeed]

– Carly Rae Jepsen has a new video out. Sooo… I guess she’s not a one-hit wonder then? Am I the only one who’s surprised? [Idolator]

– 98 degrees are releasing a new album. I don’t know why either. [PITNB]

– Lena Dunham breaks her silence on the whole Lisa Lampanelli n-word controversy. [GossipCop]

– The world’s worst tattoo has finally been fixed and the story that goes with it warmed the shit out of my heart. [BuzzFeed]

– The most basic reality show of all time, Michelle Williams from Destiny’s Child releasing a gospel album. No, it’s not a joke. [PITNB]

– Alec Baldwin is ‘disappointed’ that Shia LaBeouf leaked their personal emails. [GossipCop]

– Ja Rule is out of prison, but he’ll go straight back in so it’s like whatever. TO EVERYBODY ‘DAT BE LIVIN’ IT UP. [TMZ]

– What it’s like to be blamed for a classmate’s suicide. [BuzzFeed]

– Brandi vs LeAnn, round who the fuck even knows now? [GossipCop]

– Karlie Kloss for Vogue. She’s amazing. [PITNB]

– 10 actors bullied into roles they never wanted. [ONTD!]

– Little Lourdes is turning into quite the rebellious young teen. I can’t wait to see how this progresses over the next few years. [Celebitchy]

– Riri and Kate Moss get naked for V magazine, and Riri’s Elle UK cover. [GossipCop, PITNB]

– Aubrey Plaza called Amy Poehler a ‘violent monster’. [ONTD!]

– Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha, et cetera. Also more hahahahaha. [Dlisted, SocialiteLife]

– The J’s (T and J) are doing a stadium tour. Not in Australia. [PITNB]

– The 12 best Oscar acceptance speeches. [ONTD!]

– 26 Oscar dresses that you once thought were soooooo pretty. Except no I didn’t, except maybe for Kate’s periwinkle dress and Natalie Portmans. [BuzzFeed]

– Taylor Swift says that her exes can write songs about her, too. [GossipCop]

– Anna Kendrick and Jeremy Jordan (aka that new asshole on ‘Smash’ with the lovely voice) are going to star in a film adaptation of the musical ‘The Last Five Years’. [ONTD!]

– Adrienne Maloof paid $25k to make out with Mario Lopez. [Dlisted]

– Mariah Carey can’t wait to release her next album. [PITNB]

– The 10 most cringe-worthy moments from Star Wars. [ONTD!]

– The worst Oscars beauty missteps. [PopSugar]

– Howard Stern is team Kelly Clarkson in the war between her and Clive Davis. [GossipCop]

– Natalie Portman stars in a new ad for Miss Dior, directed by Sofia Coppola. The only thing that’s missing is the line ‘he totally wants to sleep with me!’ [ONTD!]

– Revisit iconic Oscar moment. [PopSugar]

– Amber Rose finally gave birth. His name is Sebastian ‘The Bash’ Taylor Thomaz. If I wasn’t sleepy right now I’d make a joke about JTT here.[PITNB]

– New pics from the ‘Pretty Little Liars’ Entertainment Weekly cover, and an article excerpt. [ONTD!, ONTD!]

– Mischa Barton is refusing to pay her sober coaches the $90k she owes them. [TMZ]

– Behind the scenes of Katie Holmes’ Bobbi Brown shoot. For Mikaela because I know you love Joey. x [ONTD!]

– Lady Gaga post-op: ‘I’m alive.’ [GossipCop]

– Kate Hudson straddles Matt Bellamy while her son sits next to them trying to repress his whole life. [SocialiteLife]

– A VS model speaks out about being a model and the narrow definition of beauty, saying that she is only in her career because she ‘won the genetic lottery’. [ONTD!]

– Kristen Wiig will play young Lucille Bluth in ‘Arrested Development’. [LaineyGossip]

– The Oscars parties have started, bring on the awards! [PopSugar]

– J Law and David O. Russell are teaming up again, this time with the writer of ‘Argo’. [PITNB]

– Cirque Du Soleil is going to debut a Michael Jackson show in Vegas. Amazing. Would see. [Idolator]

– Is Jude Law finally spending time with his one-night stand surprise baby Sophia? [Celebitchy]

– 10 horribly awkward moments that should never happen to anyone. [Heavy]

– People’s top 10 celeb quotes of the week. [ONTD!]

– The best photos from awards season so far. [PopSugar]

– 20 pictures of Anne Hathaway’s red carpet evolution. [SocialiteLife]

– Megan Fox and Michael Bay are teaming up again. [GossipCop]

– Game of Thrones, season three. The preview. [ONTD!]

– The first two promos for the next Hunger Games. [PITNB, PITNB]

– The 20 greatest empowering break-up songs. [WhatCulture]

– Reese Witherspoon to Chelsea Lately: You’re only famous because of me. [GossipCop]

– Rotten Tomatos interviews Ryan Gosling. [ONTD!]

– Firefly: How Joss Whedon broke our hearts in less than one season. [HelloGiggles]

 

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The stories I don’t have time to tell you about: February 18, 2013.

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