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Let’s talk quickly about Britney and’s video for Scream and Shout.

Okay, you guys know the drill, watch the video and then we’ll chat about it:

Here are all the thoughts I have on this video, from start to finish:

– Where are Britney’s brows at? Has Jared Leto started some kind of sick trend?

– Oh, at least she looks good.

– takes himself sooooo seriously for someone who makes ridiculously silly pop songs.

– What are all those butterflies about? Does he have an app out or something?

– Armeography! Celine Dion would be proud.

– This song is actually hella catchy.

– Britney’s butt looks sick in that skirt.

–’s Scream and Shout bling is really funny and I don’t know why.

– Product placement.

– Who are these random dancers?

– Product placement.

– Why is Britney not leading those dancers? It’s not like they’re even doing anything that difficult…

– You are now, now rocking with, and BRITNEY, BITCH! I adore that line. I kind of wish they’d cut that part from the Gimme More clip and used it.

– Product placement.

–’s hat with the teeth is so silly.

– Oh,’s hat that says KING is even sillier.

– ‘Goin’ fast, we ain’t goin’ slow.’ I love’s ridiculous lyrics, I really do.

– Product placement.

– What even is half of this stuff? Seriously. This video has so much technological junk in it I can’t even understand it.

– Oh, Louboutins and an axe. Hot. Is that Britney?

– … No. Then why even?

– Product placement.

– Do I like Britney’s second outfit? I can’t tell.

– The close ups of Britney’s face are awesome, she looks so pretty.


– Lol at with the smoke machine.

– Product placement.

– Product placement.

– Product placement.

– If I was epileptic I’d probably be having a seizure right now.

– WTF is that thing that’s making that head. I don’t even get this video.

– Product placement.

– Product placement.

– Product placement.

– Product placement.

– That little strut Britney does as she’s walking away from is really funny and I don’t know why. Adorable.

Okay, so I mean, it’s not that I don’t like the video, but it’s kind of one big long ad that Britney just happens to be in, you know? But at the same time, it’s not like it’s her song, so it’s really just a bonus for the Britney army to fill the time until she releases her next album, so it’s just… kind of whatever. I’ve seen it, I probably won’t bother watching it again.

Related posts:

PCP Poll – Burlesque vs Crossroads.

The stories I don’t have time to tell you about myself: November 27, 2012.

The stories I don’t have time to tell you about myself: November 22 + 23, 2012.

Scream and Shout officially premieres, Britney and talk to Ryan Seacrest.

Listen to Britney and’s latest collaboration Scream & Shout.


Maybe Lindsay Lohan and Amanda Bynes can be cellmates, because LiLo’s going back to jail.

Just to be clear, this post isn’t really Amanda Bynes related, but she’s got a hearing coming up too, so there’s a chance her ass is headed to jail too, but that’s not why we’re here today.

Lindsay is almost certainly going back to prison after being hit with four criminal charges on two different coasts in one day. Ouch.

Okay, so you remember back in July when LiLo was filming Liz & Dick and got into that car accident on the highway and then in the following days it basically came out that  she was the one who was driving but she made her assistant take the blame for it because it said in her Liz & Dick contract that she wasn’t allowed to drive? Well, all that just blew up in her face. She was charged with giving false information (6 months in jail), obstructing or resisting a police officer in the performance of his duty (1 year in jail), and reckless driving (90 days in jail).

After that, Lindsay decided the best thing to do would be to go out partying, get shitfaced and punch a girl in the face. That’s how I like to let off steam when I find out I’m probably going back to prison, make the situation infinitely worse for myself with a cheeky assault charge.

LiLo was at the nightclub Avenue, and a well-known psychic called Tiffany Mitchell was there. She went up to Linds and said she had a premonition about her and offered her a free reading. Lindsay declined, asking for space, but as soon as she turned her back on Tiffany, told her friends she was a ‘fucking gypsy’, which of course, Tiffany overheard. How these people head anything in clubs is beyond me. I am such an old person.

Anyway, Tiffany was pissed about it and decided to go for the emotional jugular, calling her a whore and  telling her that Liz & Dick sucked. Lindsay didn’t take too well to that, unsurprisingly, and punched Tiffany in the eye.

But that’s not all. It’s a Lindsay Lohan drama, that’s never all. Earlier in the night, Lindsay was at a Justin Bieber concert, not for the Biebs but rather, for The Wanted, who are opening for JB at the moment. This might be the strangest part of the story because The Wanted are just a cheap version of 1D, aren’t they? Okay, I’m kind of kidding, I really like that Chasing the Sun song they have.

Anyway, Lindsay has apparently set her sights on Max George, who is this guy from The Wanted:


Rumour has it that Tiffany knows Max and was chatting to him early in the night, which made Lindsay jealous, even though Tiffany is married and there was nothing going on between them. Apparently he turned Lindsay down, which made her angry, and then the whole thing blew up. Reports are kind of sketchy so it’s hard to separate fact from fiction.

Now for the most interesting part of the whole post, you can CLICK HERE TO SEE LINDSAY BEING ARRESTED. She’s in cuffs and keeps saying ‘are you kidding me?!’ over and over.

Lindsay’s assistant, presumably the one who she made take the blame for the crash back in June, tweeted this to her this morning:

@lindsaylohan after bailing you out last night I HOPE and PRAY you get the help you so desperately need.

We are ALL rooting for you. xxx.

Stay tuneeeeeeeeeeeeed…


Related posts:

The stories I don’t have time to tell you about myself: November 28, 2012.

Everything the Internet has to say about Liz & Dick.

The stories I don’t have time to tell you about myself: November 26, 2012.

The stories I don’t have time to tell you about myself: November 25, 2012.

The stories I don’t have time to tell you about myself: November 24, 2012.

The stories I don’t have time to tell you about myself: November 29, 2012.


-Rebel Wilson is Details magazine’s Next Big Thing and I am too excited because I love her. [DailyMail, Details]

– So The Walking Dead has an official calendar… a zombie bikini model calendar… except that they don’t look like zombies, they look like SVU victims. In bikinis. [ONTD!]

– Tegan and Sara’s video for Closer. [Idolator]

– Ben Affleck names EW’s Entertainer of the Year. [GossipCop]

– The cast of The Breakfast Club, then and now. [TooFab]

– The 45 most WTF red carpet moments of 2012. [ONTD!]

– Aw, Hilary Duff is so pretty. [HollywoodTuna]

– More photos of browless Jared Leto looking anorexic. [TooFab]

– Sia covers Rihanna’s Diamonds, which she wrote. [ONTD!]

– Leighton Meester and Shay Mitchell (Emily from PLL) at the Target and Neiman Marcus Holiday Collection launch event. [JustJared]

– Gabriel Aubry wants the restraining order lifted now so he can see his daughter, but wasn’t he the one who got it in the first place? Ugh I’m confused. [TMZ]

– Taylor Swift performs an acoustic version of I Knew You Were Trouble. [ONTD!]

– Taylor Swift red carpet photos from the ARIAs. [JustJared]

– Kanye West being deposed in Kim’s neverending divorce story. [TMZ]

– Khloe Kardashian reveals the lamest secret of all time. [GossipCop]

– Kristen Stewart looking snarly and slutty as ever. [ONTD!]

– R.E.M’s final video features James Franco and a woman with a cat head doing Grease. Obviously. [PITNB]

– Danny DeVito and Rhea Perlman might be getting back together and I would be so happy if they did. [TMZ]

– Apparently Camilla Belle and Tim Tebow are both virgins. [ONTD!]

– Whitney’s daughter totaled her car. [PITNB]

– Demi Moore has a new plaything. [GossipCop]

– Ewan McGregor is keen to do the new Star Wars movies. [TMZ]

– Charlie Sheen offers Angus T Jones a spot on Anger Management. [ONTD!]

– Angus T Jones is sticking with Two and a Half Men. Unsurprising. [TMZ]


Related posts:

The stories I don’t have time to tell you about myself: November 28, 2012.

The stories I don’t have time to tell you about myself: November 27, 2012.

The stories I don’t have time to tell you about myself: November 26, 2012.

The stories I don’t have time to tell you about myself: November 25, 2012.

The stories I don’t have time to tell you about myself: November 24, 2012.

Let’s talk about how the kid from Two and a Half Men has lost his damn mind.


Well, I suppose growing up around Charlie Sheen was bound to have certain side effects.

Okay, so if you’re unfamiliar, here’s the video that has the whole Internet abuzz:


I don’t think there’s anything less appealing than self-righteous, condescending children spewing their views as if they know more than everyone around them, and this definitely qualifies as just that. Now, that’s just the clip that TMZ leaked, but there’s actually a half hour version as well, the first 45 seconds of which shows all these happy images of him with his co-stars, cut with black and white video of him looking sad and reflective.


Let’s just focus on the short clip though, because you know I’ve got some shit to say about it!

– ‘Jake from Two and a Half Men is a non-existant character.’

Aside from the fact that this statement is pretty redundant, it’s also so very condescending to the viewers of Two and a Half Men. Now, you guys know I work retail selling DVDs to the masses, so I can tell you that there are some very, very stupid people who watch television. But even for the lowest of low intellects, I don’t think any of them believe that Jake from Two and a Half Men is an actual real person, because you’d have to be legit batshit to think that was the case. Like, Brooke Sheilds’ character in Friends that one time batshit.

The way he’s laughing to himself and covering his eyes like ‘ohhhh, these silly, silly masses, they don’t understand that I’m not my character,’ makes me want to Oliver Martinez the shit out of his face.


– ‘Please stop watching Two and a Half Men. I’m on Two and a Half Men and I don’t want to be on Two and a Half Men.’

This is the part where I go ‘Is this dude Joaquin Phoenix-ing me, because he just plugged his show three times in one sentence.’

Rainn Wilson agrees with me. Look, him and Craig Robinson got the first parody out on the net for us:


– ‘Please stop watching it. Please stop filling. Your head. With filth. Please.’

There’s a point here where I thought ‘I wonder who the other guy is, what’s his deal? because it seriously looks like he’s just realised that this kid is committing career suicide, and if he does that, then he’ll have to find someone else to continue funding his cult. But Angus T Jones is no Tom Cruise and this guy is no… Scientology leader who’s banging Tom Cruise behind closed doors.

Oh, and if you’re wondering what that guy’s deal is, he’s the leader of Forerunner, which is a cult, basically. You can click here to watch TMZ dissect some of his Forerunner videos, where he talks about how there will be a food shortage in New York City soon, and then

‘all of a sudden your baby will start looking like a chicken wing.’

TMZ also mentions that Angus found this guy while in a downward spiral which included a bunch of acid trips, but surely you’d think once you came out of that you’d be like ‘oh, wait, this is actually really insane and I don’t know what I was thinking.’


– ‘*condescending laughter* Do some research on the effects of television on your brain.’

You are all idiots, you wish you were as enlightened as I am. Um, no. Maybe let’s do some research on the effects of acid trips and cults on your brain, instead.


– ‘That’s coming from… I mean, I don’t know if it means any more, coming from me.’

(But it does, and you’d be a fool not to listen to me.) This is really interesting because he almost says ‘and that’s coming from me,’ which is so telling about how he perceives his influence to be over the stupid people who watch television and pay attention to celebrities.


After this he basically spends the rest of the video talking about how Two and a Half Men is the work of the devil and how if he’s contributing to satan’s plan, or if he’s doing more harm than good, that he would rather just die. Now, that’s interesting, particularly in light of his press statement today:

I have been the subject of much discussion, speculation and commentary over the past 24 hours. 

While I cannot address everything that has been said or right every misstatement or misunderstanding, there is one thing I want to make clear. Without qualification, I am grateful to and have the highest regard and respect for all of the wonderful people on Two and Half Men with whom I have worked and over the past ten years who have become an extension of my family. 

Chuck Lorre, Peter Roth and many others at Warner Bros. and CBS are responsible for what has been one of the most significant experiences in my life to date. I thank them for the opportunity they have given and continue to give me and the help and guidance I have and expect to continue to receive from them. 

I also want all of the crew and cast on our show to know how much I personally care for them and appreciate their support, guidance and love over the years. I grew up around them and know that the time they spent with me was in many instances more than with their own families. I learned life lessons from so many of them and will never forget how much positive impact they have had on my life.

I apologize if my remarks reflect me showing indifference to and disrespect of my colleagues and a lack of appreciation of the extraordinary opportunity of which I have been blessed. I never intended that.

In other words, ‘I know Two and a Half Men is the work of the devil, but I’m really enjoying that 350,000 a week pay check and would really like to stay working on this devil show.’

Now, you know Charlie Sheen had something to say about all this, and frankly, I’m surprised he waited, what, 24 whole hours before telling People magazine:

With Angus’ Hale-Bopp-like meltdown, it is radically clear to me that the show is cursed.

… Obviously. It couldn’t possibly be that you’re both horrendously overpaid and just decided to piss it all away on booze and drugs, which rotted the part of your brain responsible for logical thinking. The ‘Hale-Bopp’ thing is

an obvious reference to the Heaven’s Gate religious cult … which committed mass suicide in 1997 because they believed death was the only way to gain access to an alien ship that was following the Hale-Bopp comet.

According to TMZ.

Of course, it wouldn’t be a Charlie Sheen rant without at least one jab at Chuck Lorre (the creator of Two and a Half Men), so of course he also said:

Obviously, not having been there for some time, the Angus T. Jones that I knew and still love is not the same guy I saw on YouTube yesterday.

I dare anyone to spend ten years in the laugh-track that is Chuck Lorre’s hive of oppression and not suffer some form of an emotional tsunami.

I’m not gonna lie, the ‘laugh track’ line actually made me laugh out loud.

I’m sure Angus’ apology statement isn’t the last we’ll hear about this, though, so stay tuned for more inevitable drama/parodies in the coming days.


Related posts:

The stories I don’t have time to tell you about myself: November 27, 2012.

The stories I don’t have time to tell you about myself: November 26, 2012.

PCP’s Favourite – Failed celebrity marriages, part two.


The stories I don’t have time to tell you about myself: November 28, 2012.


-WHAT IN GOD’S NAME HAS HAPPENED TO JARED LETO’S FACE?! WHERE YOUR BROWS AT, FOOL?! Well, we’ll add this to the list of ‘things that make Jared Leto one of the creepiest motherfuckers alive’, along with this quote:

I used to like to break into other people’s houses and sit in their rooms. I found it very comforting to be in someone’s empty house.

Now picture brow-less Jared Leto saying it. Good luck getting to sleep tonight. [TheSuperficial]

– Stars in commercials before they were famous. [ONTD!]

– Watch the first commercial for Justin Bieber’s new fragrance Girlfriend. [GossipCop]

– Katy Perry, Selena Gomez and Allison Williams (aka the pretty one from Girls) at the Unicef Snowflake Ball. [JustJared]

– Dolly Parton isn’t a lesbian, because apparently that was up for debate? [TMZ]

– AJ McLean from the BSB welcomes his first child, Ava Jaymes. [GossipCop]

– Carly Rae Jepsen looking stoned on the cover of Cosmo. [ONTD!]

– Travis Barker was pulled over by the cops for the second time this year, says that it’s because of his tattoos. Oooooor, maybe it’s because you were speeding. [TMZ]

– Will Miranda Kerr be hanging up her VS wings? [ONTD!]

– Chelsea Handler calls Chris Brown a moron, points out how hard it would be to shit on a retina. [GossipCop]

– Click if you want to see Lacey Chabert (Gretchen from Mean Girls) in a bra. [HollywoodTuna]

– Amy Locane-Bovenizer from Melrose Place killed was found guilty of vehicular manslaughter. She killed a 60 year old woman and maimed her husband because she was shitfaced. Don’t drink and drive. [GossipCop]

-LiLo is ‘devastated’ that Liz & Dick is getting panned by everyone except those 24 people on BuzzFeed yesterday. [PITNB]

-Liz & Dick was also not the hit Lifetime was expecting, viewer-wise, coming in 4th for Lifetime Originals with 3.5 million viewers. [TMZ]

– Lana Del Rey performs Ride on Later… with Jools Holland. [ONTD!]

– Shakira shows off her baby bump, I didn’t even know she was preggers. [GossipCop]

– There’s now a third voice of Elmo accuser who says that Kevin Clash, then 40, got him drunk and had sex with him while he was underage. [TMZ]

– Gabriel Aubry got a restraining order against Oliver Martinez. [GossipCop]

– Oliver Martinez is wearing a brace on the hand he used to beat Gabriel Aubry’s face off. [TMZ]

– Seriously, look at Gabriel’s face. He actually looks worse than Rihanna did after Chris Brown tried to kill her. [TMZ]

– The amazing cast of Parks and Recreation in GQ’s Men of the Year issue. [ONTD!]

– Ashlee Simpson got dumped. [GossipCop]

– I really hope this story about someone naming their kid Hashtag Jameson isn’t true. #Jameson #CheersToDaFreakinWeekend [Dlisted]

– Neil Patrick Harris debuts his Puppet Dreams web series. [GossipCop]

– Um, you seriously need to see Yoko Ono’s John Lennon inspired men’s clothing line because there aren’t words to describe it. You won’t unsee it, though. [ONTD!]

– While we’re talking about fashion, check out the designer Disney princesses. [ONTD!]

– ScarJo does the weather report on the Today Show. [GossipCop]


Related posts:

The stories I don’t have time to tell you about myself: November 27, 2012.

The stories I don’t have time to tell you about myself: November 26, 2012.

The stories I don’t have time to tell you about myself: November 25, 2012.

The stories I don’t have time to tell you about myself: November 24, 2012.

The stories I don’t have time to tell you about myself: November 22 + 23, 2012.


PCP Poll – Burlesque vs Crossroads.

Okay, so when it comes to the endless Britney versus Christina rivalry that’s been going on for what, like a hundred years now, y’all know I am firmly planted in team Britney and always will be, but I actually really love both of these films. Crossroads is just so much fun and Britney’s just so adorable in it, while Burlesque has some incredible songs in it. (PUT YOUR HANDS UP SHOW ME HOW YOU BURLESQUE!). What’s your favourite, though?



or Crossroads?



Related posts:

PCP Poll – Justin Timberlake the actor or the singer?

PCP Poll – Paris Hilton vs Nicole Richie.

PCP Poll – Natalie Portman vs. Mila Kunis.

PCP Poll – Who’s the hottest guy in Magic Mike?

PCP Poll – 2 Broke Girls vs Don’t Trust the B—- in Apartment 23.

Jenelle Evans will happily pick jail over time with her son, but not if she has tickets to go see Ke$ha. Seriously.

‘But if I’m in jail, how will I see Ke$ha?!?!’

Okay, so this is the part where someone seriously needs to bitchslap this idiot and go ‘well, you’d be able to go see Ke$ha if you didn’t continue to violate the terms of your probation.’ For example, last night I went to see Nicki Minaj with my dear friend Alicia. You know why we were able to go? BECAUSE WE’RE NOT ON PROBATION BECAUSE WE FOLLOW THE LAW. Like, the world’s not out to get you, princess, you’re just a fucked bitch. While we’re here, Nicki was awesome and I’d definitely recommend seeing her live if you can.

Back to Jenelle. What the goddamn fuck is wrong with this bitch. For real. You absolutely need to watch the video in order to see why my feathers are all ruffled, and unfortunately I can’t embed, it so CLICK HERE NOW because it’s a must-see and then we’ll run through the whole thing, sentence by ridiculous sentence.

Well, see, the only thing is, on the 9th I have second row seats to go see a concert. It’s Ke$ha tickets.

No, no no, you don’t understand, this is my idol, and I’m not gonna be able to see her if [I’m in jail].

Like, can’t you call her and ask, like, I really can’t miss that concert, I really can’t. That’s why I got all these feathers in my hair. Because of the concert. I bought clothes for the concert. I set up hotel rooms for the concert.

Like, no one understands how important this concert is to me. It’s not just a concert. It’s Ke$ha. Like it’s, it’s the person. It’s not just ‘oh I wanna go to a random concert, like, it’s Ke$ha, the girl that I watch videos of on YouTube 30 times a day, I mean like, I’m obsessed with this girl.

Okay, here we go:

1) Jace is sitting right there and apparently he doesn’t factor into her decision making process whatsoever. Keep in mind this is the week after she said ‘my mom just doesn’t understand that I have other shit going on so Jace just isn’t my first priority right now!’ Like, she can leave her son for however long necessary, but God forbid she misses a Ke$ha concert, where she will inevitably end up doing drugs anyway because she has no self control.

2) The poor guy looks like he wants to laugh and cry at the same time at how ridiculous Jenelle is being. He’s pretty good at keeping his cool though, because if it was me I would’ve been like ‘BITCH U CRAZY! GET YOUR ASS TO JAIL!’

3) Jenelle doesn’t seem to grasp that he’s doing everything he can to get her out of this mess. Like, she failed her drug test, part of her probation. He’s offering her an opportunity to take a reduced sentence so that she can get it out of the way because he knows she’s too stupid to actually ever stop smoking pot and finish her probation. God forbid she makes ‘putting this behind her so she can focus on being a halfway decent mother’ her top priority.

4) I just love how she keeps trying to explain it to him as if he’s stupid for not realising that she OBVIOUSLY can’t go to jail then because it’s KE$HA, duh! I also love how she like ‘um, I got feathers put in my hair, I’m not going to have them go to waste in prison, so obviously I need to go to the concert.’ You don’t understand, let me explain it to you again. And again, and again.

5) The girl I watch videos of 30 times a day. Um… you have a kid! How do you have time to sit in front of your computer and watch Ke$ha videos all day long? Like, I don’t have a kid and I don’t have time for that, and not just because it’s Ke$ha and she’s not one of my faves, because I wouldn’t have time to sit around watching Britney or Rihanna clips all day, either.

And also, okay, I like Ke$ha, but since most of her songs are like, party anthems, maybe it’s not the best idea for a supposed-to-be-recovering drug addict to be using as their ‘idol’? Just saying. That’s like a sex addict having Rihanna as their idol and telling them ‘now don’t think about sex.’ Of course, by now we certainly can’t expect Jenelle to exhibit that kind of logical thinking.

This bitch. I know I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. I cannot even with her.

While we’re talking about Ke$ha, though, you can click here to listen to Supernatural. It’s a song about ghost sex. Obviously. That reminds me, did I tell you guys about this movie I saw in Austin called The Entity? It’s an 80’s horror movie that’s supposedly based on a true story about this girl who gets raped by a ghost. Forever. Like, it still happens now and she just lives with it. SPOILERS:

The movie goes on and has all these ghost rape scenes in it, and then they try to kill the ghost, and then she gets home and the ghost isn’t dead, and then he says to her in this menacing voice: ‘WELCOME HOME, CUNT,’ and it was basically the funniest thing I’ve ever heard in a film, ever. I hope that’s what Ke$ha’s song is about.

Related posts:

Jenelle Evans is engaged. Again. To a different guy.

Jenelle Evans is still fucked.

I guess Jenelle misses Amber, because she got herself arrested again.

Jenelle Evans is a stupid hoe.

Amber Portwood’s not going to be famous anymore. Good riddance.

Lisa Robin Kelly is back and just got her ass arrested again.


Well, this certainly wasn’t what I was expecting to wake up to this morning.

Okay, so you guys remember how back in March LRK got arrested for spousal abuse, and then she was all ‘I didn’t hit him, he ‘Marky Mark from Fear’-ed himself, I’m not on drugs, and I’m starring in a movie called ‘It Sucks to be Me’? If not, you can refresh your memory on all the stuff from back in March by clicking on the links at the bottom of the post. Anyway, get ready, because as they say in horror movie sequels, it’s happening again.


‘It’s happening again, isn’t it?’

*daaaaaaa-dadada-daaaaaa-dadada-daaaaaaa* <– That’s what the music that comes on in basically any scene Dewey’s looks like when I try to write it out.


You know I’m right.


Wow, we’re sidetracked. Let’s move on.

Okay, so last night, her and an unknown 61 year old man, identified as her ‘husband’ both got arrested after allegedly assaulting each other. I say ‘husband’ in quotations because last time this happened, it was supposed to be her hubby, but then it was her boyfriend, her roommate, and finally, her ex-boyfriend who may or may not have been living with her.

The cops are saying that there were no visibly injuries on either of them and that drugs and alcohol weren’t, read it again, weren’t, involved. Say whaaaaat?

So I suppose what we can gather from this is that since doing that horrendous interview (which you can find in the old posts) LRK has

– Moved back to North Carolina

– Gotten married

– Carried on making the same mistakes that she’s been making since her DUI arrest back in 2010


I’m sure this story is only going to get more interesting from here, so stay tuned.


Related posts:

Lisa Robin Kelly says she’s ‘starring in a movie called “It Sucks to Be Me”.’

Directly after the Lisa Robin Kelly drama, this seems like a good time to announce That 70′s Reunion. Good job, FOX.

Lisa Robin Kelly is apparently on enough drugs to think people will believe that she’s clean and sober.

Do you guys remember Lisa Robin Kelly from That 70′s Show? Even if you don’t you should read this anyway.


The stories I don’t have time to tell you about myself: November 27, 2012.



– Look at this really cute photo of Britney and her new puppy Hannah, and also, watch a bunch of videos about her being VEVO certified on YouTube. [ONTD!]

– Angus T Jones, the kid from Two and a Half Men, doesn’t want you to watch Two and a Half Men because of his newfound Christian values/wants to quit the show that pays him $350,000 an episode. [TMZ]

– Justin Bieber gets beaten up on Family Guy, defends wearing overalls to meet the Canadian Prime Minister, got booed at the CFL Grey Cup halftime show and talks to Oprah about Selena Gomez (before they broke up), marriage and being depressed.

– Beyonce will be doing a HBO doco in 2013. [ONTD!]

– Anne Hathaway says she ‘looked like [her] gay brother’ with her Les Mis hair do. [GossipCop]

– Charlie Sheen says he gave away every cent he made on Scary Movie 5. [TMZ]

– Here’s an interview with the biggest douchebag from Made in Chelsea, Spencer Matthews. [SocialiteLife]

– Kate Winslet receives the CBE honor from Queen Liz II. [ONTD!]

– Watch the trailer for new British comedy I Give It A Year, starring Anna Faris, Minnie Driver and Rose Byrne. [PITNB]

– Camille Grammer wants Kelsey to GTFO of her house. [TMZ]

– Pete Doherty talks about his romance with Amy Winehouse. [ONTD!]

– Now that Liz & Dick is out, we can all turn our attention to the Susan Boyle biopic that’s in the works. [WorstPreviews]

– Jessica Simpson’s Weight Watchers diet. [TMZ]

– MTV interviews 1D. [ONTD!]

-Demi Lovato got a new tattoo done by Kat Von D. [GossipCop]

– They’re making a sequel to Disney film ‘Life-Size’ where Tyra Banks is a doll come to life, and Tyra Banks is going to be in it. [ONTD!]


Related posts:

The stories I don’t have time to tell you about myself: November 26, 2012.

The stories I don’t have time to tell you about myself: November 25, 2012.

The stories I don’t have time to tell you about myself: November 24, 2012.

The stories I don’t have time to tell you about myself: November 22 + 23, 2012.

The stories I don’t have time to tell you about myself: November 21, 2012.

Everything the Internet has to say about Liz & Dick.


Argh, WHY HAVEN’T I SEEN THIS TRAIN WRECK YET? I’m so disappointed in myself. Half the world has seen Liz & Dick by now, and everyone who’s seen it (and some people who haven’t) has an opinion they’d like to share, and I for one am eating them up. Let’s see what people are saying, yeah?

From Twitter, via PITNB:

I will wait to watch “Liz & Dick” when it’s glimpsed in archival clips during Lifetime’s 2024 telefilm “Lindsay”, starring Honey Boo Boo.

— Tim Carvell (@timcarvell) November 26, 2012


@lindsaylohan you did a beautiful job on Liz & Dick, Let no one bring u down, Liz didnt, they always try to knock the greats down a few pegs

— Lady Gaga (@ladygaga) November 26, 2012


The day after “Liz & Dick” I just want to say: She’s already down. Lets not kick her.

— Jesse Tyler Ferguson (@jessetyler) November 26, 2012


I am neither watching football nor “Liz and Dick” so I basically don’t exist right now.

— Michael Ian Black (@michaelianblack) November 26, 2012


Actual Train Wrecks reject any offensive comparisons to “Liz and Dick.”

— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) November 26, 2012


Lez & Dick RT @justinsteere: @questlove I can’t wait for the porn parody of “Liz & Dick”

— Questo of The Roots (@questlove) November 26, 2012


This. Liz. &. Dick. Is. UMbelievable!Picture the Mona Lisa.OK got it?Now take a razor and carefully cut out her eyes.It’s like that!

— BD WONG (@BD_WONG) November 26, 2012


I did not watch Liz and Dick. I did, however, watch two people dry hump at a slot machine. #Vegas

— Josh Wolf (@joshwolfcomedy) November 26, 2012


I liked what I saw of Liz & Dick. Then again, I find few sights more moving than that of self-pitying tears slowly dissolving eyelash glue.

— Rachel Shukert (@RachelShukert) November 26, 2012


this is the kind of performance you get when someone is willing to work for a used VW Cabriolet full of Camel Lights.

— Jack Gray (@jackgraycnn) November 26, 2012


“What this needs is a new script.” “How long can this show run?” “The lines keep coming out wrong.” – Actual lines from #LizandDick

— Rachel Syme (@rachsyme) November 26, 2012


I feel more obligated to watch “Liz and Dick” than I did to go see “Lincoln” – and that’s what makes America #1.

— Sarah Thyre (@SarahThyre) November 25, 2012


Liz & Dick is the timeless tale of two actors you don’t really care about played by two actors you don’t really care about.

— Jocelyn Plums (@FilthyRichmond) November 26, 2012


RT @travon#LizAndDick was so bad it made @chrisbrown delete his twitter. AGAIN.

— Lizz Winstead (@lizzwinstead) November 26, 2012


Christ, Lilo can’t even act like a drunk #LizAndDick

— Lizz Winstead (@lizzwinstead) November 26, 2012


Gilbert Godfried sound more like Liz Taylor #LizAndDick

— Lizz Winstead (@lizzwinstead) November 26, 2012


Why isn’t this fun-hilarious bad like Degrassi? It’s just regular bad.#disappointed #lizanddick

— Melanie Ann Rose S. (@MelanieAnnRose) November 26, 2012


Welp, my 5,000th tweet happened…and it was about Liz & Dick. #fuck

— Melanie Ann Rose S. (@MelanieAnnRose) November 26, 2012


Meanwhile, BuzzFeed has a list of 21 people who genuinely think Liz & Dick is ‘the best movie ever.’

Also from BuzzFeed, this gem, or ‘The only review of Liz and Dick that matters‘:


The best and worst moments, from E! via ONTD!:

The Best Moments:

Faux Drunk Grant Bowler: Richard Burton did love his booze, and seeing Grant Bowler slur and stumble through half most of the movie was actually a very entertaining part of Liz & Dick. It led to a fiery viewing party debate on whether Bowler was actually drinking during shooting to get through production.

Lindsay Lohan’s Genuine Smile: Did you see it? It didn’t come often, and it was mostly while she was sitting in the director’s chair reminiscing with young Richard Burton about their lives together. But that eye-sparkle that first made us fall in love with the Lohan came about more than once during Liz & Dick, and we shall cherish those smiles forever.

The Costumes: If we were watching Liz & Dick with Lohan, our conversation afterwards would very much be like this opening scene of Friends, with Lindsay as Joey and us as Monica. We can safely rave about the clothing in Liz and Dick, from the movie costumes to the luxurious dresses that Elizabeth Taylor favored. It was fun to experience that time period through the eyes of the wealthy couple. And the lighting was good, too.

The Worst Moments:

Lindsay Attempting Real Emotion: You could tell she wanted to capture the tumultuous and often times painful aspects of Liz and Dick’s marriages (the tears, the fighting, the passionate embraces), but she just couldn’t quite get there. And when you fall flat during those emotional scenes, you fall hard and right on your face. And everybody winces and averts their eyes uncomfortably.

Lindsay’s Wavering Accent: Elizabeth Taylor was born in London, so she’s supposed to have an accent, albeit a slight one. Lohan did her best to stay in that accent, but she often slipped into her normal, American-accented husky speaking voice. Let’s just say this, if you were playing a drinking game and you took a shot every time Lindsay slipped back into her American accent, you’re probably in the hospital right now.

Knowing Lindsay Could Never Be Liz: The great Elizabeth Taylor was intoxicating and seductive, and you couldn’t take her eyes off of her when she was onscreen. You certainly can’t take your eyes off of Lohan in Liz & Dick, but not for the same reasons. As accurate as the costumes are and as hard as Bowler tries to be Richard Burton, Lohan will never be Taylor. And that is the bottom line.


TooFab has compiled all the moments that made them laugh out loud into one neat little video which features at least three instances of Lindsay drunkenly hurling glass at a wall. You can watch the magic here.


But regardless of what the world thinks, MiLo is a proud dad today, telling RumorFix:

Due to the content, I had to step away from some of the scenes,” Michael tells us, “but regardless of what some of these so called critics (who don’t have an ounce of talent in their bones) say, Lindsay proved that she is an amazing actress!”

He continues,”This was a different role for her at a different time of her life! Yet, she still has what it takes to be the Lindsay Lohan that is one of Hollywood’s top actresses! Just imagine.

He also tweeted:

They know nothing about @lindsaylohan talent! She has more talent in her pinky then all of them together,” the proud dad tweeted.”You proved the critics wrong @LindsayLohan you are one of the best, so gifted, so amazing! Now apply it ALL! God bless you! And our family!”


I don’t know about you but all of this just makes me more and more excited to watch this ASAP.


Related posts:

The stories I don’t have time to tell you about myself: November 26, 2012.

The stories I don’t have time to tell you about myself: November 25, 2012.

The stories I don’t have time to tell you about myself: November 24, 2012.

More incredible and delusional quotes from Lindsay’s Us Weekly interview.

Things that make you go ‘What the hell was LiLo thinking?’