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LiLo got herself banned from the Chateau Marmont.

Oh, LiLo.

I can’t even with this because I’m so unsurprised that I actually rolled my eyes when I read about this.

Basically, here’s how shit went down:

LiLo was living at the Chateau Marmont in June and July, and managed to rack up a $46,350.04, which, SURPRISE, she didn’t pay. Over $3000 of that is just for the minibar in the room, and one night in the hotel’s restaurant cost her almost $2000. So much for sobriety, hey. Apparently she thought the producers of her Liz Taylor Lifetime were going to foot her massive bill, which is why she didn’t pay. Yeah, alright.

They sent her a letter on July 31st, which was all ‘bitch, we tried to make you pay but you didn’t, pack your shit and gtfo.’ (I’m paraphrasing.)

Anyway, they banned her until she coughs up the cash she owes. You can read the letter and the entire itemised bill over at TMZ.

Oh, and apparently her and her assistant are the prime suspects in a jewellery heist, but she’s not being charged, so that’s all we need to say about that for now.

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LiLo’s career is going from strength to strength, I see…

Oh, okay. LiLo’s got her nips out and is holding a gun to her head in her latest Terry Richardson shoot.

LiLo totaled her car.

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PCP Poll – 2 Broke Girls vs Don’t Trust the B—- in Apartment 23.

 

I am loving both of these shows, but let’s face facts, they’re pretty similar shows. Odd-couple girl comedies set in New York with sassy, sassy brunettes and naive blondes. I don’t even care, they’re both fierce. Which one is your favourite?

2 Broke Girls.

 

Don’t Trust the B—- in Apartment 23.

 

 

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PCP Poll – Who’s your favourite Mean Girl?

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PCP Poll – Lindsay Lohan vs Hilary Duff.

PCP’s Favourite – Fierce fictional bitches, part three.

Hello again, and welcome to today’s edition of PCP’s favourite, where today we countdown the top five fierce fictional bitches from my childhood. Let’s get into it, yeah?

05 Veronica Lodge, Archie comics.

I was brought up with Archie comics. My dad read them and had a whole bunch of them when I was a kid, so I grew up reading them, and as sweet as Betty was, Veronica has always, and will always, be the fiercest bitch in Riverdale. Yes, even more than Cheryl Blossom. Basically all the reasons I love her are up in the picture above. Ronnie’s very self-aware of her bitchiness, but she doesn’t even give a tiny fuck, and I love her for it.

04 Jessica Wakefield, Sweet Valley Kids, Sweet Valley Twins, Sweet Valley Jr High, Sweet Valley High, Sweet Valley Senior Year, Sweet Valley University, Sweet Valley Confidential, The Unicorn Club, Sweet Valley – The Sweet Life, Sweet Valley High TV Series (played by Brittany Daniel).

For the record, Jessica is the one in black, Elizabeth is the princessy looking one in the white. I. Love. Sweet Valley. I’ve read at least one of each of those series listed above, including Sweet Valley Kids, and the god-awful Junior and Senior years. The main series’, being Twins, High, and University, I have dozens and dozens of old books stashed away in my cupboard. My secret collection. Jessica is my girl, but she’s not higher on the list because most of the time, I think she attempts to have good intentions, unlike Lila, who we’ll get to. Still, a lot of the time she’s manipulative, deceitful, backstabby, and downright nasty. She’s also far more interesting to read about than boring Lizzie who never has any fun unless something horrible has happened to her and she’s having some kind of teen-life crisis. Like that time she decided to be rebel, got on a motorbike one time, and ended up in a coma. Even then she’s not a whole lot of fun. Anyway, point is, Jessica is the bomb. She’s pretty, she dresses fierce, she’s popular, and she gets all the best boyfriends. She’ll claw your eyes out if you have something she wants, though, and that’s why we fear/respect J. Wakefield.

03 Hunter Fallow, Grosse Pointe (played by Irene Molloy).

So Hunter makes the list because aside from being cutthroat, two-faced, and sometimes downright evil, her character is based on Shannen Doherty’s behaviour on the set of Beverly Hills 90210, which makes it doubly awesome. I mean, you get to enjoy it because Hunter is fierce, and you get to gasp and be entertained by her antics, but at the same time, you get to watch it and wonder how much of it is based on actual things Shannen did back in the day. I like to think she did every single thing Hunter did, and then some other stuff that they were saving for the second season that never happened. Anyway, I know I’ve posted it before, but here’s Hunter’s best moments:

02 Abby Morgan, Dawson’s Creek (played by Monica Keena).

From the moment Abby Morgan set foot in Capeside High, I loved her. Probably because I loathed Joey for being so undeservedly mean to Jen for the first six episodes, when Abby rocked up and started giving Joey shit I was like ‘YES! FINALLY!’ The only thing better than that was when Jen and Abby became besties and they were like two bitchy, drunk sluts, and it was the best thing ever. I can’t even that there’s not a best of Abby Morgan clip video on YouTube, but basically my favourite Abby moment is ALL Abby’s scenes, with the exception of that time the girls kick her out of the sleepover, and SPOILERS!!! …When she dies. I cried for so long, even after the episode was over. I know, I’m sad. Here’s part one of her first episode, which is Kevin Williamson’s take on The Breakfast Club:

01 Lila Fowler, basically all the important Sweet Valley book series’, and the TV series (played by Shirlee Elliot/Bridget Flanery).

ULTIMATE BITCH. If I could trade lives with any fierce fictional bitch, it would be Lila Fowler. She’s filthy, filthy rich, everybody wants to be her friend, she has all the nicest clothes and cars and she throws the best parties. She lives in a mansion on a hill called Fowler Crest. She’s basically the fiercest bitch ever. Oh, and she’s also vindictive, spiteful, bitchy, and all the things we love. One time, she’s dating this guy, and then she finds out he has a part time job as a janior, and she dumps him and calls him ‘cleaning boy’ in front of the whole school. She’s evil. Her and Jess are amazing frenemies, and as much as I love Jessica, Lila’s the fiercest fictional bitch because she doesn’t have boring Liz grounding her and telling her to be a nice person. She’s totally free to just be the evil bitch that she is.

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PCP Favourite – Fierce fictional bitches, part one (of six).

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PCP’s Favourite – Children of Celebrities.

PCP’s Favourite – Former child stars.

Check out the first photos of Chloë Grace Moretz and Julianne Moore in Carrie.

 

So okay, the more I see about this film the more excited I am to see it. Chloe looks awesome as blood-splattered Carrie at the prom, and Julianne Moore is fantastic and I basically don’t think she can do any wrong, ever, so of course I’m excited to see her as Carrie’s mother.

That’s literally all I have to say about this today. Let me know what you think of these photos in the comments below!

 

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PCP Poll – Sarah Michelle Gellar or Jennifer Love Hewitt?

These babes know what you did last summer, but who’s your favourite?

Sarah Michelle Gellar

 

or Jennifer Love Hewitt?

 

 

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Chad Kroeger likes Avril Lavigne’s pants around her feet.

 

I don’t think I’ll ever stop laughing.

Oh my God. Okay.

So hands up if you didn’t even know that these two were dating? Like, what even is happening right now? I don’t understand how I missed this.

Poor Brody Jenner, he seems like a nice enough guy, imagine breaking up with a girl and then eight months later she’s engaged to marry the guy who growls the following lyrics:

I like your pants around your feet
And I like the dirt that’s on your knees
And I like the way you still say please
While you’re looking up at me
You’re like my favourite damn disease

That’s gotta sting.

So I know all the stories are that he popped the question with a 14 carat ring, but in my mind, she proposed to him with the following lyrics from her song Things I’ll Never Say:

I wanna see you go down,

On one knee,

Marry me today.

 

Honestly I don’t even really have anything to say about this. I think they kind of deserve each other, actually. Best of luck to them, I think. They might be a perfect match.

Oh, and for an update on my hotel drama, they sent up a bottle of red and some chocolates for us to apologise.

 

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PCP’s Favourite – Fierce fictional bitches, part two.

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TomKat are officially divorced/Don’t stay at the Cosmopolitan Hotel in TriBeCa (a rant).

 

Hands up if you’re disappointed because there was no drama? Ugh, me too. I hear ya.

So I arrived in New York City on August 20, the day that the TomKat divorce case was closed. It’s the second flipping off I’ve had from this city today. Not that this is relevant, but I’m going to tell you about the first one right now because otherwise this post is basically done.

This is a tale I like to call ‘Don’t stay at the Cosmopolitan Hotel in TriBeCa.’

Benji and I arrived in NYC at 3pm yesterday. We were going to meet our friends Mikaela and Kane at the hotel, as they’d just flown in from Australia. Since the room was in my name, I emailed the hotel to add their names to the reservation/see if they could check in early if it was possible/ask them to store their luggage if it wasn’t. This was the response I received:

 

So Mik and Kane got into NYC at 6am after travelling for a good 50 something hours. When they got there, they hadn’t added the names to the reservation, and told them they didn’t have any record of this email at all. At first they even refused to hold their luggage, but gave in eventually.

After wandering around the city aimlessly for as long as possible, they returned at 2pm, the room still wasn’t ready, so they just decided to wait until 3pm, at which point they were told that the room still wasn’t ready. Mikaela was more insistent about the fact that I had emailed them, to which they replied ‘Could you get her to email again?’ when she’d already explained that I was flying in from Indy.

Finally allowed into the room, they got maybe 15 minutes sleep before we turned up.

Now, I booked a family suite, with two queen beds and a sofa bed. I emailed them to ask if they could have the sofa bed set up, and never got a reply, but let it go because I figured I could just get them to do it when we checked in if necessary.

Well, the room we had was two double beds and an unmade sofa bed. I figured we’d just let Mik and Kane sleep off their jet lag and deal with it today.

Oh! Okay, also, when I went to check in, I was all ‘Hi, I have a booking under Stephanie Anderson, but two people from my party have already checked in.’ The woman behind the desk was like ‘we don’t have a reservation under that name, could it be under a different name?’ and I told her how I added Mik and Kane to the reservation because I assumed that had been done, and then she was all ‘Mikaela? Oh okay, I’ll just call the room to check.’ and called the room to check if it was okay to come up to the room that was booked under my name, on my credit card. What. Even.

Anyway, so this morning I went downstairs and was all ‘Hi, I booked a room with two queens, and the room you’ve given me is two doubles’ and threw in that I asked for the sofa bed to be made and it wasn’t.

The guy told me that he’d check it out and get back to me, which he never did.

When we got back to the room and nothing had been done (housekeeping didn’t even come and it was like 3pm by this stage.) I went down to check what was going on.

The manager told me that the beds in the room were queens.

Here’s the thing. I’m 5’9, and have slept in a queen bed for years. We’ve also been traveling around, staying in different hotels, and you know, experiencing the difference between a double and a queen. The difference being, in a double bed I hate my life if I have to share because my ankles hang off the edge of the bed and it’s totally lame, whereas in a queen I can be comfortable and get a nice sleep. Point is, I know the fucking difference between a double and a queen.

This fight legitimately went on for more than 10 minutes, with me going:

Okay, I promise you that’s not a queen size bed. I have a queen size bed, my friends have a queen size bed, we both buy standard queen bedding for it, and it fits perfectly. We’ve also been staying in a ton of hotels, what with the traveling and all, and booking queen sized beds that are the same size as the queens we have at home. The beds that you’ve given us are not queen beds. You’re tall, you go up there, lie down, and tell me if that’s a queen.

And him responding, with a little chart to show me the different industry standard bed sizes on it:

All the beds in the type of room you booked are queen sized. They’re the industry standard queen size, see? (points at chart). I can’t make the beds any bigger, they’re the biggest beds we have, and we don’t have any other family suites available. I can measure the beds for you to prove to you that they’re the industry size queen beds. I don’t know where else you’ve been staying, or what other beds you’ve been sleeping in, but some hotels have different sized beds. Our beds are the industry standard. Let me measure the bed to show you that it’s the standard queen size.

This went on and on and on.

He measured the beds, and they were short. EAT MY DICK, cosmo hotel. I told you.

All of a sudden, there’s a room available that has ACTUAL queen beds. It doesn’t have a sofa bed, but whatever. The room is bigger, and nicer, also. Afterwards he was all ‘I wasn’t trying to imply that you were lying… ‘ um, okay. Whatever.

Point is, I was right and I can tell the difference between a queen and a double.

Aside from that, NYC has been amazing so far, with a special shout out to Weather Up on Duane St, their cocktails are amazing and the vibe is awesome, and the bartender whose name I’ve forgotten was lovely, attentive and offered us some great suggestions for things to do when we’re in Austin later in the trip.

 

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TomKat’s divorce may be settled but the rumours are just getting started.

Katie and Tom have already reached a divorce settlement.

Shia LaBeouf commissions nazi-sympathiser Lars von Trier to film his celebrity sex tape. Kind of.

Shia’s doing a new film with Lars von Trier. Okay, first up, can we all just take a moment to remember that time when Lars called himself a nazi at Cannes while promoting Melancholia and poor Kirsten Dunst just sat there like ‘I’d really like to not be here right now, hey.’ Here’s the clip:

Now that’s out of the way, let’s talk about this new film Shia and Lars are working on.

It’s called The Nymphomaniac, and Shia says ‘it is what you think it is.’ So my guess is that it’s basically porn with some wanky, artsy storyline that’s going to give all the artsy prudes a valid reason to watch porn at the cinema and have a wank with a room full of strangers. Maybe play a little game called ‘put your mouth on something new.’ You know, in the vein of The Brown Bunny, 9 Songs, that doco Daryl Hannah did about strippers that time, etc.

Shia says:

There’s a disclaimer at the top of the script that basically says, we’re doing [the sex] for real. And everything that is ‘illegal’ we’ll shoot in blurred images. But other than that, everything is happening.

He also made a point of saying that he’s prepared to do whatever is asked of him during the filming, which I’m choosing to interpret as ‘Shia LaBeouf needs to get laid and doesn’t want to use his Transformers money to pay for hookers.’

It’s going to be released in two parts (apparently it’ll be the longest porno of all time.) and will focus on some chick’s journey into sluthood adulthood. The girl will be played by Charlotte Gainsbourg, and will also star Willem Defoe (of course), Stellan Skarsgård and real life wax figure Nicole Kidman. I can only assume she’ll be playing one of those real life sex dolls like in this doco where guys date sex dolls:

Anyway, who’s going to see it?

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PCP Favourite – Fierce fictional bitches, part one (of six).

PCP Poll – Seinfeld or Curb Your Enthusiasm?

Soooooooo, Larry David is basically a genius, but which of his shows do you prefer?

Seinfeld.

or Curb Your Enthusiasm?

 

 

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PCP’s Favourite – Fierce fictional bitches, part two.

Hello, dears. Apologies again for the delay in posting. I actually wrote this whole post out and went to publish it on time, but it didn’t save and then I had a tiny diva fit and couldn’t even face writing it all out again. Anyway, it’s time for another edition of PCP’s Favourite, and today is part two of our favourite fierce fictional bitches. Today is the start of a two-part sub-category about bitches from my childhood, so let’s get into it.

10 Angelica Pickles.

I know, I know, I probably shouldn’t refer to a child as a bitch… but let’s be honest, she is, and I love her for it. I mean, how can you not? I liked the whole cast of Rugrats when I was younger, but Angelica is ultimate. She’s manipulative and sassy, and just an all-round champion biatch.

Bitchiest moment: Turns out searching for ‘Angelica Pickles bitch’ on YouTube doesn’t give you a whole lot of options… maybe most people feel bad calling a child a bitch… but whatever. Here’s a clip of her saying a bad word, instead:

09 Kelly Phillips, The Secret World of Alex Mack (Hilary Angelo).

Okay, so this one is a tricky one to write about because it seems like the entire Internet has forgotten about her, but okay. From what I remember, Kelly was the fierce bitch who replaced Jessica Alba as the bitchy middle school queen bee who was Alex’s nemesis. Don’t get me wrong, because I love Alex Mack and her friends, but I also loved Kelly for being so fierce.

Do you remember her? Oh! She was also that cheerleader who got kicked in the face and was bleeding for like 3 seconds in Bring it On. I don’t have a bitchiest moment for her because basically I just have a vague, general idea of the show in general/Kelly’s fierceness.

08 Veruca Salt, Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (Julie Dawn Cole).

Okay, so none of you should be surprised to see my girl/childhood idol Veruca Salt on this list after she was the poster girl for my favourite famous kids list. Also, as a sidenote, I think I’ve missed the point of a lot of these films because I actively choose to ignore the part where bad things happen to my favourite bitches. Like, you know how when you watch a sad film and turn it off when shit starts to get bad? I mentally do that when bad things happen to these bad gals.

Bitchiest moment:

Also, I love her outfit, I think she’s pretty, and this song is catchy as shit. Definitely the best part of this film.

07 Libby Chessler, Sabrina, the Teenage Witch (Jenna Leigh Green).

So Libby Chessler is like the 90’s tween sitcom version of Regina George. She’s evil, manipulative, and rules her school with an iron fist. Again, I liked Sabrina and her friends, but Libby basically made this show for me and I wanted to be her as much as I wanted Sabrina’s powers/cat. Now, it won’t let me embed the video, so if you click here you can watch a clip where Sabrina has to stay close to Libby and Libby is hating the shit out of life because of it. Oh, and while we’re talking about Libby, let me just add that I thought her wardrobe was the fiercest shit ever and wanted all her clothes. Yes, that includes that shirt she’s wearing up there. My eleven year old self wanted that shirt so bad.

06 Sandy Griffin, Daria.

So really, this could’ve been any of the fashion club members, because they can all be pretty bitchy, but Sandy is ultimate. She’s the tyrannical ruler of Lawndale High and I love her for it. She beats her best friends into submission, and for the most part, gets away with it until the very last season. Seriously, she’s evil and she’s so good at it. Now, YouTube doesn’t have any fierce Sandy montage clips to put here to display my point, but they do have one for Tiffany, who’s easily the most two-faced in the Fashion Club, so let’s watch that instead:

Fantastic stuff. Come back next week (hopefully on Sunday!) to see the top five favourite fictional bitches from my childhood!

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PCP Favourite – Fierce fictional bitches, part one (of six).

PCP’s Favourite – Current child stars.

PCP’s Favourite – Children of Celebrities.

PCP’s Favourite – Former child stars.

PCP’s Favourite – Failed celebrity marriages, part four.